*****content warning: this is part of my story in the Black Summer bushfires. I'm putting this here to protect anyone that may not want to read particularly emotional stories. I don't want to flare anyone's trauma. But this is my story.*****
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Before the Black Summer bushfires, I had never really thought about bushfires before.
I lived in Sydney growing up, and I remember some near-ish to us then, but I was never impacted until last year when I visited my mum on the NSW south coast.
I remember driving through such thick smoke on the way, but nothing showed on the aps. Turns out, they were the beginning of the Cann River fires.
We evacuated from our house early New Year's Eve 2019. I remember seeing the orange smoke loomng much-too-close, burning leaves falling from the sky, and hundreds of birds flying away. There was no power or reception, so I had no idea if my friends and loved ones were alive, including mum for a few hours when we were separated. At the evacuation centre, spot fires were igniting all around us. And then the sky went this deep, blackish red. My sister called to tell me she was trapped in town with my godchildren who were crying. I think hearing them tell me they're scared--and me having to tell them it would be okay--is the hardest thing I've ever experienced.
I am so lucky none of my family lost their homes or lives. But people I went to school with did. A person, only four years older than me, died. My close friends also lost homes and woke up to everything they've ever known burning. Seeing photos and videos from back then is so hard. And I've spoken to so many people who were so close to losing their lives.
It's a lot of trauma.
Our poor, poor communities. But something else I also saw was kindness. Bravery. Love. Strength. I saw people feeding and housing almost thousands of others free of charge. Chemists opening their doors to help their customers with their medication, while their houses were burning. Firefighters who saved others, even after they too had lost everything. And one woman who just went around simply giving people hugs as people cried into her. We saw so much trauma: but so much beauty and strength too.
That's what I hold on to.