Do you have any peer supports around you? Here is a great start but some real life support is also essential. Another error of mine was to cover up our challenges and try and support alone.... that is not sustainable. Even juat someone dependable to check in and ask RUOK makes a big difference. The ability to say actually no I'm not without the need to go into detail can sometimes take a big load off.
I have more than enough of my own demons. I have PTSD from active service, MDD and anxiety. My daughter has PTSD from physical bullying at school, since COVID hit she has developed OCD anxiety, MDD and is now being assessed for Bipolar disorder. I am the shield for the rest of the family, I am unable to work due to a spinal injury years ago. My wife works full time and is an awesome provider! She works long hours as she is in an executive position in her firm. But, I shield and take care of our daughter. We have two other children who rightly feel like they are being forgotten... which they are not. I am tired, I could sleep for a month and still be tired. Mentally, emotionally and physically I have reached my exhaustion point. I love my daughter with all my heart but some days, more and more recently, I just wish I didn’t have to do another day of her. Am I a bad parent? I feel like a failure as a parent every time I wish I was in another country as far away from her as possible. Gods I feel... overwhelmed. That doesn’t even come close really, but it will do. Overwhelmed.
@Lokison having that thought does not make you a bad parent. It is not our thoughts that make us who we are, it's how we respond to them. And if your first instinct is to feel revulsion at the very notion that this thought crossed your mind, then that is who you are. Someone who is tired, fed up, overworked, overwhelmed, but still would never want to do anything to harm your child. Extreme feelings lead to extreme thoughts, but what we choose to do with those thoughts is what's most important. Really brave of you to share that here.
It sounds like you are a great parent you support your children and your daughter with complex needs. I think any parent under this amount of pressure feels this way. You are doing a great job and your kids are lucky to have a father in their life who cares for them. It's so exhausting looking after our children with complex illnesses especially if you have your own to deal with.
Have her at clinic now. We have just found out her OCD specialist will be a male, instantly triggered. No rhyme or reason now it's she can't be treated by a male... no trauma no abuse, just decided!
Gods help me another road block. I am so confused, she asks for the help, when it comes time to get the help she pushes back picking up on some random detail and refuses the help. Another battle, the war is far from over...
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health SANE Australia ABN 92006533606 PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia