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Looking after ourselves

Re: Retraining our brains..

Kudos to you for sticking to your guns hun; @LadyleahRDBloom proud of you! Yes, work ethics are issues I talk with my son about when he's in doubt. You can't go wrong by saying no, just might be a bit unpopular.

 

Smoothie sounds a treat worth sharing I'd say.. ha ha

xo

PS.. could you tag me when you post as I don't know you've responded without a notification. Heart

 

Re: Retraining our brains..

eeek! Sorry @Hope4me , here we go. 

 

It's blackberries, strawberries and skim milk. All perfectly good for you. Just make sure there's plenty of pulp, extra nourishment. Next time I'm making orange, spinach, ginger and mixed berries. Extra protein and antioxidants. Really, really good for you, great for charging the brain.

 

Kudos to you and your son. I think I am pretty unpopular in her eyes. She's there to get payments. I'm there to get into my dream line of work, women's clothing. Saying she'll try to sabotage me is too far but she's an odd ball tbh. 

 

Hugs to you 🙂 Leah. 

 

Re: Retraining our brains..

Hi @Hope4me

You mentioned having to change jobs & living environment, for the sake of your MH & well-being.

Maybe limiting contact with negative people too - that is definitely necessary in my case.

My work environment is toxic.

The system that I've been working under - the constant (weekly) major changes, never knowing where I stand.

Never having time to adjust to the constant changed expectations (& procedures).

I feel sick & nauseous, even thinking of going there (or dealing with it).

I've known that I needed to resign (Quit) many months ago, even 1 year ago - yet fear kept stopping me from leaving.

So I never entirely got out, even though I know I absolutely needed to.

The longer I stayed, the worse it got.

Staying there has been literally soul-destroying.

Yet I've remained totally paralysed by indecision, & keep disempowering myself by continuing to work (staying) there.

Adge

Re: Retraining our brains..

Oh dear @Adge

I stayed, and stayed, and stayed until my poor brain broke. Please don't let this happen to you.😥

 

There are some decisions that are so upsetting; leaving a toxic workplace is one of them as money's our survival in this day and age. However, each time you put yourself through 'stuff', it widdles away at your brain causing problems with chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline.

 

Anyone with cptsd can attest to what it's like living on high alert every moment of the day. I really don't want this for you. A huge part of recovery is self awareness. Recognising when enough's enough, and then acting on it is one lesson worth learning! No-one can protect you like you can...

 

Decisions you make today will affect you down the track. That's why learning to 'accept' the right one in the beginning is so important. We're not superhuman...

 

I had to stop working because my brain broke. I haven't worked since. I'm only now starting to plan my new career (at home) because I was so unwell. It's not worth it Adge.

 

I know this is your responsiblity, but it's hard for me standing by watching you procrastinate and making the same mistake I did.

 

I hope you've put money aside to make your move, otherwise, please start saving.

 

Wishing you well my friend;

Hope xo Heart

Re: Retraining our brains..

Thanks @Hope4me Your response was very insightful & self-aware, also heartfelt.

My poor brain has been at the point of breaking for about 6 weeks - similar to what you said happened to you.

I may have already had a break-down (several weeks ago) - several people seem to think that I have (already).

In that case, I cannot properly recover (or recover at all) - without first "Removing the stressors" (or triggers).

My Readings (research) said that recovery won't happen, or not well - if the stressful causes or environment remains the same.

Everything to do with work is triggering those stress hormones (chemicals), cortisol & adrenaline.

Very unhealthy & exhausting.

I've been on high alert, in a "stress-triggered state" for virtually all of that time (for 5 or 6 weeks).

I manage to calm & relax myself for a few short hours (at most) each week- only to have hyperalert (& stress chemicals) "Re-triggered" all over again.

I have already put the money aside - that has taken me several years, & a few miracles.

My Dad passing away provided some of that money (very sadly), just a few months ago - even though he's been gone since March 2016.

What's stopping me is now fear alone - not much else.

Adge

Re: Retraining our brains..

Morning @Adge

As the old saying goes; feel the fear and do it anyway! What do you have to lose? Recovery has to have sacrifice in some form. If you create a plan, it tends to make more sense. Making your mental health priority will be your saving grace.

 

Staying at your current job will do more harm than good. You've had advice to reiterate this, why aren't you taking it seriously?

Hope Heart

 

Re: Retraining our brains..

Hi @Hope4me Thanks.

With self-care (& being proactive) in mind - I've done the right thing.

I feel like crying, don't know what comes next.

I've tendered my resignation via email.

Several people advised me not to resign, & several encouraged me to resign - which left me confused, & feeling conflicted.

Work managers may still try to talk me out of it - or they may just accept my resignation.

Don't know what next, need to go with the flow - hopefully things will fall into place.

I so need a Hug (sorry), feeling teary...

Adge

Re: Retraining our brains..

Oh dear @Adge

This is a time of confusion and worry; I'm sorry. These decisions are damn hard, I get it. In my case it was done for me via forced medical retirement because I left it too long.

I'm so proud of you; what you've done takes guts!

 

I know it's probably not much consolation, but if I were with you I'd give you a big squeezing hug to help you cry the pain away. It's therapeutic hun.

 

You know you can talk with me ok. Vent if you need to because I hear you...

 

Sending warm thoughts your way;

Hope Heart

Re: Retraining our brains..

Thanks.

Adge

Re: Retraining our brains..

The pros & cons of staying or resigning my job became "paralysis by analysis" - reaching no decision & mentally going around in circles (with no end).

 

In the end, I wrote & emailed my resignation anyway - just to break the roadblock of indecision.

 

There is no plan to enact, to deal with the consequences, or to "Re-frame" a positive way forward.

I very much need to work on a plan - which may include renting out a room (or 2) of my house, to gain some small income.

 

I had a very constructive & positive 30 minute meeting with my Team Leader (12.30-1.00pm) this afternoon - he offered to try to limit the demands for work (client) use of my private car.

 

Yet there was little that he could do, as the Disability & Aged care sector now demands that employees use their own car - driving potentially 20,000 Km per year, mostly unpaid.

 

He offered to withhold my resignation letter, if I wished to consider it further (or change my mind) - before having it submitted.

Instead, I very sadly asked him to submit it to HR.

 

My Team Leader agreed with me when I said that working in the "Not for Profit" sector can be Soul-Destroying - with constant changes that we cannot adapt to, with no workers knowing where they stand (or what their rights are).

 

It is the system, not the people that has been causing me such intolerable stress - my employer is unable to change that system (& NDIS funding system).

 

My only way to "opt-out", with the aim (goal) of practicing Better Self-care - was to resign (leave).

 

Adge

 

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