Hi dear
@Starta and a friendly wave to
@Peri as well.
That is so sad to hear Starta that they would do that to you. Its taken me a few days for my anger to subside about that before coming back to respond. For people who are meant to be managing a MH forum, that crowd really dont seem to have any idea of how easily someone can be brought down. And when it is unfair and uncalled for, that makes it so much worse. I have my suspicions as to what may have occurred, but I'm reluctant to say too much. But lets say it likely revolves around a certain blond person in a peer role there. From past experience, I know this person to be very vocal behind the scenes, and unfortunately he has the ear of the manager over there. He is like teflon, nothing ever sticks, despite repeated serious lapses on his part over the past 3 years. Its highly likely he reported something you posted, that he does not approve of. He has always been very vocal in his criticism of others. Unfortunately he is well regarded by those who do not know him well, and that includes most ordinary members there. Behind the scenes he is not like he seems at all. He is not to be trusted Starta, so please do be very careful. If he chooses to target anyone, he will not stop until he succeeds in bringing them down .. one way or another. Enough of that ... thank god he is the exception to the rule. Most of them there are great people. And I must say its lovely that the big walrus has been offering you his support. Did I mention that I have started corresponding with him again the past couple of weeks? He is the CC that I worked with when I was there, and have continued to keep in touch. Though I cut ties for a while. He ended up convincing me how silly that really was.
Starta I very much doubt you said anything wrong, I really do. I am only sorry you took it to heart and that it brought you down so low and so hard.
Yes I can imagine that it would have hurt to read on facebook about the impending arrival of your first great grandchild. Do you think however that they might have assumed you knew already ... like from reading facebook if you are 'a friend'? They may have thought you didnt need to be told. Modern youngsters these days seem to tell all the big news through facebook these days. Just seems to be the done thing.
Its really sad though Starta that firstly your sons, then your grandchildren and now likely your great grandchildren have not had the pleasure of having you in their lives for way too long. Its sad for you, but its equally sad for them. They are missing out on knowing and loving a truly wonderful person ... a mum/grandma/great granny ... who would love and cherish them all. I hope that one day, your family can be drawn back together again, to become one once more.
Please do not blame yourself Starta, you must know that is a part of C-PTSD .. to blame oneself. But thats not true .. you are not to blame for your husbands narcissitic ways or for his mistreatment of you or threats to your children when they were younger. Its a very simple fact that men are typically stronger than women in a physical sense. Its only natural that you feared him for both yourself and what he may do to your children. Little wonder you were too afraid to leave and seek a better safer life for yourself.
I totally agree with you that physical abuse seems to heal where as the emotional and psychological abuse remains with us ... likely forever to a large extent. It has all certainly had a long lasting affect on you Starta as well as your family over the longer term too.
I know you cant see a happy future for yourself right now Starta, but dont forget that you were with your hubby for 40 years. Its only a relatively short 5 years since he passed away. There is still much for you to overcome in an emotional sense, still a lifetime of pain and suffering to take away. But there is still hope of better things to come. There is still hope that your family can be restored. The fact that you now have a relationship with your youngest son, is proof that things can change. Please hold out hope that your other sons can also eventually see through all that wrong your husband did, and what you felt you needed to do to protect them all. Just remember though that its not easy to see your own father in such a light. It may take time and much patience. From you and for them.
Sorry for rambling Starta. I should leave it at that I think. Hope to hear from you again soon.
Lovely post from
@Peri last week too. All very true.
Hi to lovely
@Shaz51, the one who cares for all of us here. I dont know how you do it all with so much on your own plate. So from me to you ... a great big thankyou.
Night all ....
Sherry
💕💤
