Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

 Hi I was recently in hospital again and they started me on some new meds and I guess things were going ok until last night, I started getting really scared that my meds are actually poison and that satan is trying to hurt me and that the people around me are actually working for satan secretly. I have been on the meds for about a month and also last night and yesterday I was hearing things too like whispers and stuff. Um anyway the problem now is that I am really scared to take my meds and I don’t know what to do. 

[HappyCastle]

Hey @Eden1919. I just wanted to reach out as feeling scared is a really uncomfortable feeling . I'm feeling concerned for you and what you're experiencing. Are you feeling safe at the moment?

HappyCastle 

[HappyCastle]

@Eden1919 

Just dropping by to check-in and see if you were able to reach out for some support? 

Thinking of you 

[Eden1919]

@HappyCastle  I havent spoken to anyone I am not really sure who to speak too about this. I dont reallt feel comfortable talking to places like lifeline so i am not sure who i am meant to speak too. 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Eden1919  Sending lots of support to you 💐

Are there people you know and trust personally who you could speak to? Perhaps a psychologist or psychiatrist? Friends or family?

SANE's Support Centre might be helpful, available by phone (1800 18 7263) or web chat.

I'll also check in with you by email 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  there is no one i can really talk to. 

[Gwynn]

Hey @Eden1919 , sorry to hear you're back in this situation again. Can you do things that relax you or distract you from the voices? Can you write it all down in a journal to shrink the voices down to size? When's your next med review? You could try telling them then that the meds aren't working for you. It could be that you need to be on them for a little while longer for them to work, as well - I remember with mine it took around two months before I started to feel confident that what I was seeing and hearing was what everyone else was, too.

What's important in your life, Eden?

[Eden1919]

@Gwynn  I dont know when my next med review is I have literally no idea what is happening or who I am even seeing or when no one has told me anything. maybe they need more time I dont know. as to what is important to me, well my studies are important to me and my pets and family and friends. 

[Gwynn]

No wonder you're scared, @Eden1919 , if they're treating you like a mushroom to be kept in the dark!!

I believe you have a higher purpose than the spiritual warfare you're experiencing at the moment. I believe your purpose is connected to your studies, your pets and family and friends. Hold on to those things that are important to you in the days ahead, Eden. Even try telling your psych and nurses about them - they should act stoked, but if they are agents of Satan then they will be secretly scared because they know you will not be dissuaded from your higher purpose.

I would encourage you to keep taking the meds even though you're scared to - they might just need a little longer to work, and then you can more ably rejoin your friends, your family, your pets and your studies and work towards your higher purpose, even with the side effects. Please write everything down so that you can share parts when you have your med review - the truth is a powerful weapon in spiritual warfare.

[Eden1919]

@Gwynn  thanks, I will try my best. 

I still still have been too scared to take the medication but I am trying really hard to keep on top of things.