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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].

I am REALLY, really low tonight. 

 

I think I can pin-point where it started. Earlier today, I was looking at a post on Reddit. Then, I went to the home page. On the home page, there was a post from the subreddit r/niceguys. That led me down a rabbit hole.

 

If you're unfamiliar, r/niceguys is a forum where people talk about interactions they have had with guys that reacted aggressively to being socially or romantically rejected. It is quite an aggressive place in its own right, and there are a lot of labels that branch out of it.

 

The point is, there's a lot of judgement around people who are socially outcast for whatever reason.

 

I remember someone said "women aren't rehabs for broken men". I heard someone else say "if you're 'starved for positive attention', why don't you call your mother?"

 

I am sure you've heard it in other ways too. There's a stigma around being alone, which makes you even more alone. Like how being the "quiet kid" at school now has a connotation with school shootings. Was that stigma around when you were at school or is it a recent thing?

 

As I have said before... I don't know how people can talk about preventing suicide, and also kind of encourage it with their attitudes and actions. Lots of people feel bad for the "quiet kid", but they still subscribe to the idea that it's something to be wary of. 

 

Someone asked online, "what does giving up on life actually mean?" 

 

"It’s different for different people. But in general, I’d say it means that someone gives up on all their dreams and ambitions. They stop bothering to make an effort. They stop trying."

 

That sounds about right. My heart hurts.. but I don't try to meet people. I haven't for a long time. I know what'll happen. People talk about love at first sight. For me, it's more like fear at first sight or nausea at first sight. 

 

I want to die, but I am reluctant to try therapy, because what is she going to tell me that I haven't heard already? I have heard all the advice before, and it just makes me feel worse. How do you get out when you don't want to?

 

None of these are rhetorical questions, by the way, I'd like to get your input. Especially if you've given up on life before.

 

I'm safe... but tired. 

 

;

 

Just to let you know, guys, I have got a positive post in the works, to be released tomorrow or Sunday. I know it's not good, even on support forums, to be one-way, if that makes sense.

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].

I can relate to your headingSmiley Sad

Re: Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].

@Former-Member I wish I had more time to give your post the response it deserves, but I don't ATM. Probably won't have sufficient time tomorrow, either, but I'll try to get back here if I can.

 

Suffice to say that I can relate to it a lot. There's an awful lot of man-hating out there, and it's responsible for an awful lot of the pain and anguish going on these days. But it's important to know that not everybody feels that way.

 

I believe SANEForums did a seminar recently about men's issues, and I was interested in asking about the effects of modern anti-male prejudice on the mental health of modern males, but I forgot about it until it was all over. Smiley Sad

 

And, keeping my commentary short due to time constraints, I certainly agree with you about the modern suicide conversation being very one-sided, and lacking on crucial elements that need to be discussed.

 

It's why, IMHO, so much of the "expert" and "official" commentary is mostly BS, because it's all revolving around a deliberately incomplete picture.

 

I'm afraid I can't say much more then that for now, but I hope things get better for you soon. Smiley Happy

Re: Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].

@Former-Member 

So glad you feel comfortable enough to be able to express yourself on here. I can certainly relate to your post.

 

Please keep posting and keep reaching out for support.

 

Re: Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].

Hi again @Former-Member ,


I had hoped that, with having some more time to read over your post, I would've had some more clarity about what I could say. But sadly not; I just don't know what to say.

 


@Former-Member wrote:

Someone asked online, "what does giving up on life actually mean?" 

 

"It’s different for different people. But in general, I’d say it means that someone gives up on all their dreams and ambitions. They stop bothering to make an effort. They stop trying."

 

That sounds about right. My heart hurts.. but I don't try to meet people. I haven't for a long time. I know what'll happen. People talk about love at first sight. For me, it's more like fear at first sight or nausea at first sight. 

 

I want to die, but I am reluctant to try therapy, because what is she going to tell me that I haven't heard already? I have heard all the advice before, and it just makes me feel worse. How do you get out when you don't want to?


 

I can relate to this very much. I have no avenues left to walk. Nothing left for me but to wait for the reaper to come knocking. I went into therapy looking for help, and came out with nothing more then official confirmation that there'll never be anything good in my life and that I have to have "acceptance" (her actual word) that I'm obliged to endure this hopeless, ugly life until I get my natural death. Been waiting for it for over 8 years now. And like you, I am very tired as well.


I don't get opportunities to meet people very often these days (even before coronavirus), and when I did, it was always the wrong sort of people; the sort of people who make you more eager to be done with life, rather then continue with it. I just wish there was a place you could go where you could say point blank: "These are the sort of people I want to be surrounded by:...", and then be taken to a party and introduced to a whole heap of the sort of people you'd described.


But instead, when your desparately lonely, people exploit that. Use it to boost their own egos by making veiled insinuations that if you continue to put up with them, it'll eventually lead to introductions with the sort of people you want in your life. Or their just filled with a cruel indifferance; bullying you into situations where your surrounded by other human beings - they don't give a stuff whether or not they are the right human beings for you - then celebrating when they've finally taunted you into obediance. My therapist was a nightmare like that. It was never about what I needed, only ever about what she could bully me into doing for her.


I don't have any answers, I'm afraid.Smiley Sad Nor comforting words.


I can only offer my best hopes that you fare better then I have.Smiley Happy

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