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Something’s not right

creative_writer
Senior Contributor

“I don’t need people” state of mind

Lately I’ve found myself withdrawing more and more into myself. I’m not sure if this is a trauma response or maybe I am burnt out because things were rough for so long. The recent Uni  assignments plus mixed episode (funny how the brain can experience depressive and hypo manic symptoms all at once) has left me emotionally exhausted and lousy. Like I am in a better place now, I no longer feel like ending myself, or look for ways how I could do it.  I feel a lack of motivation to socialise, even come on these forums or call helplines when I start feeling anxious. Like I rather just depend on myself, because we live alone, deal with things alone and leave this world alone. I just don’t feel bothered either, I rather just do things to distract myself. Maybe I’m feeling the anxiety more because I didn’t sleep well, you gotta thank the earth for that good shake last night 

183 REPLIES 183

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

I truly believe we are made for connection...

But there are times, aswell, where solitude is as necessary as winter snow to those darlings who shelter there...

 

https://youtu.be/R5E4IzgVmCM

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@creative_writer I agree with @Kyle1 that we are meant to connect - it's in our biology. But it's also a balance, in finding both time to feel connected and time to feel independent. Especially if the connections we do have are causing us grief, stress, or otherwise not serving our best interests. It sounds like you are taking the time to really focus inward, and that can be a truly wonderful thing. Don't hide away from connection too long though - only as long as it continues to be helpful 💜

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Kyle1 and @Jynx, I think I've been away in my bubble for too long now. I was considering giving SANE a call to talk through things but then felt unbothered. Like there is stuff brewing in me, but I don't feel like talking or doing anything, I just feel too exhausted. Maybe it comes down to the mentality, "why reach out if nobody will understand?" I don't think ending up alone is the worst thing, it's comfortable, it's what I've known. It's much worse to end up with people and still so lonely. When I am around people, I have to say all the right things, and display all the right emotions to be "considered normal"

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@creative_writer Oh I feel that... masking is exhausting. It can be really awful to feel like no one ever really sees the real you. Have you ever found anyone you could be more yourself with, even a little bit? I think for me, finding connections that allowed me to be authentic and accepted only happened after I decided to be my most weird, ridiculous version of myself, i.e. my true self. If being yourself has lost you friends in the past, then those just weren't the right people for you in the end. It can feel really uncomfortable, downright awful at first, to unmask... but when you find the people who have the same vibe as yours, it gets a lot easier... I hope you can find it for yourself some day. 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Jynx, I think the thing is I always felt different, maybe I was always an anxious child, I've felt invalidated so many times and perhaps high functioning ASD in the mix. My people-pleasing tendencies have been to my own detriment too. I don't want other people to feel uncomfortable with my emotional reactions. Sometimes I wonder if my emotional reactions are considered socially appropriate. I am afraid that by being authentic, I will be judged. I even hold back in therapy even though I know it is a safe place to explore my thoughts and feelings. I've been on the edge of tears so many times, it happens so suddenly and it feels like it's completely out of my control, but I am always fighting it. In my normal life, I have become so good at hiding my emotions. I've learnt, most people will be at ease when they see you showing the "right emotions"

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

Hey @creative_writer @what are you studying?

 

are you taking time to enjoy life and practicing regular daily self care. Good to hear you are feeling a little better.

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Little_Leopard, I’m doing social work. I don’t have much longer left till I’m back into it. Our break is shorter than typical courses. I’ve been using my self soothing and distraction strategies. I think I probably do need to get out of the house more. Maybe tom will be a better day, my body was down physically (migraine), I only went to the doctors and chemist today

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@creative_writer Oh cool. What is the social work course like, Are you enjoying it.? I studied psychology for a bit but was not able to do it. Would love to go back to uni one day.

 

it’s great that you have some tools. Do you have anything that you can do that is enjoyable.?

What are the things in life that really make you happy? It’s ok if you do t know. I’m trying to figure that out for myself as part of my journey. I am going to start trying new things.


do you think there is something missing or Something you need but are not getting?

 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

Hi @Kyle1 

 

Fantastic link.

Thanks for sharing.

Have l told you lately l love these sort of songs

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