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Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind


@creative_writer wrote:

The recent Uni  assignments plus mixed episode (funny how the brain can experience depressive and hypo manic symptoms all at once) has left me emotionally exhausted and lousy. Like I am in a better place now, I no longer feel like ending myself, or look for ways how I could do it. 


This sounds like a nightmare, so sorry to hear @creative_writer 😞

 

Regarding unmasking, I just ran out of emotional energy to do it. It's exhausting. I can't tell you the relief it is to just be myself with most people (not my abusive father or family though!!). I even (gasp) stopped being friends with people who wouldn't support me. The religious ones dumped me, which was horrible at the time, but I've since rebuilt, thankfully. @creative_writer  @Jynx 

 

Hope you slept better last night @creative_writer ...

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

Hey @creative_writer @and all reading along.

 

I too feel like I don’t need people, I’ve had too many emotional let downs by people after bringing me up so much and just dumping me.

 

my relationships last 5-10 years and I’ve had 3-4 relationships with people in my time. I’ve had the pleasure 😂 to meet sociopaths, narcissists, controllers and manipulators in that time also. 

me being an introvert I tend to attract these kinds of people it seems. I too like @creative_writer @feel better left alone with supportive people. Which I hope to find more of but atm like the solitude 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Little_Leopard, I enjoy reading, writing, watching tv. I’m thinking of having a relaxing full on pamper shower today which is always fun

@NatureLover mixed episodes always carry that high suicide risk too. Masking gets exhaustion, but I feel like I’ve been masking for years, I just find it hard to be myself around people. I am always worried about not putting people at unease and pleasing them, even at the expense of my own MH. Masking leads to burn out, and burn out makes you want to curl into a ball and not come out again

@Former-Member, I wonder why toxic people have used me as punching bag. Maybe I seem too soft and kind. Maybe I was too naive and some would argue I am still gullible. I’ve learnt to trust no one over time, my own experiences and growing up with a cynical mother has made it hard to trust or have faith in humanity. Also, the whole purpose of socialising is to feel connected, but if you’re not getting that, then what’s the point? The most painful form is loneliness occurs when you are around people. i rather be alone. I know it’s lonely to be alone, but the loneliness with being alone is bearable and I’m safe

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

I tend not to think about it too much @creative_writer I just get on with what I have to do. I too might be too soft, naive and gullible but I don’t want to be a bully I don’t see the point in it. Bullies in my opinion are people pleasers and tend to only gravitate towards people with a similar mind set, given I’ve been through hell, they can expect it when they go through it.

 

overall I think I’m a good person, when little inconveniences happen I tend not to dwell on it though it’s hard going. I hope you find peace with all the battles you’re having, cause I know I want that

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Former-Member, I also find bullies tend to target those who appear “different”. I’ve always felt so different from others, I’ve tried so hard to appear “normal”, but it’s exhausting. Maybe I’m wired differently, but I sort of wish I was like other people

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

Hi @creative_writer 

 

I agree Bullies target that those "appear" different

Emphasis should be on appear. But even if a person is different, they should not be bullied.

I wonder what appearing to look normal looks like. We all walk differently, have different interests, beliefs, goals, empathy, time, height, weight, vision, beliefs  etc.

You are Normal. You are as different to anyone as they are different to you.

I see your name Creative Writer. That is different. Not all are creative and that difference is good.

Before you be like others find out the full story.

To me you sound fine.

You found your way in the forum

We can all improve in our ways we see others are

There will be characteristics in you, others will learn.

Stay you. Just tweak it a bit so you can achieve what you want.

The class clown is a clown.

The social bully is a bully

I would prefer to be a Creative Writer

 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind


@creative_writer wrote:
@NatureLovermixed episodes always carry that high suicide risk too.

I didn't know that, @creative_writer ...I'm sorry to hear 😞

 

I understand that masking is essential for survival sometimes. 

 

Sending you best wishes... 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Former-Member and @NatureLover, I think deep inside I wanted to be “neurotypical”. It’s like socialising is so much easier for most people. I am socially awkward and I get sensory overload. I didn’t really accept my high functioning ASD diagnosis until recently, I wondered if I was misdiagnosed, but then maybe my masking abilities were so good that I fooled myself. I don’t really fit the stereotypical criteria of a ASD individual, I am empathetic and have learnt to read people over time

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

Hi @creative_writer 

 

You have social skills because you had a lot of feedback.

I am not big on big crowds.

Do you socialise at all?

What places do you enjoy going to?

Do you have any interests you can share with a few.

Are you trying to mix in big social circles?

Do you know what you are looking for?

 

Re: “I don’t need people” state of mind

@Former-Member, I don’t actually socialise much. I grew up isolated. The most social I’ve probably been was during a hypomanic episode because my social anxiety had melted. You would be surprised with how much you can learn just by simply observing people. Learning to tune into intuition is key. Having a psych and social work background also helps. I have also learnt a lot by working in customer service and doing MH related volunteer work. I think I’m just after close friends who I can have deep conversations with and be my genuine self, I guess what introverts typically look for. I know there are lots of options at uni, I just haven’t explored all of them.

As for my interests, I’ve become obsessed with cats, that I think I need to adopt one, I love writing poetry, learning about human behaviour and psyche, reading and watching tv, I have a thing for historical fiction and I like being spiritual too as it keeps me grounded.

How about you, what do you enjoy doing?
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