Lived Experience Forum

[Trauma]

Hy there, I'm 27 and I'm new to this whole thing but thought I'd try my luck and here we are, so I just wanna know anyone out there that deals with mental abuse and has for a while as I do, I currently live in a abusive household with my father and it's like I'm damned if I do or damned If I don't, he sees in his head what he pushes and wants for me, but yet I have my shit down pat...he can be good and then BOOM, a bad day can set him off on me, I can't deal with the hot and cold, it's starting to take a toll on me mentally over this past year, I just need to get out of this environment so I can move foward with my progress and the positive stuff I'm trying to work on for myself 😔😔😔

[Trauma]

It's quite full on abuse btw

[tropicalsun]

Hi @Trauma,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your experience with us. 

I am sorry to hear about your current living situation, it sounds like a difficult dynamic. 

We are here to support you - I have moved your discussion to another thread where it is more likely to get a response.

Regards,

tropicalsun

[Marty78irish]

He ya, have you tried sitting him down and explaining how he makes you feel? Sometimes people have blinkers on and can't see what they are doing to others

[Trauma]

I've tried , but he is very stubborn in his ways and only sees things green when the sky is blue....if you get me😔😔

[Trauma]

Even tried with my psych to get him to have a better understanding of how he makes me feels me what I'm actually dealing with

[HearU]

Hi @Trauma, thank you for posting. I have a Dad who behaves badly at times gets into a negative loop of thinking and seems to need like life to control others. He can only get perspective on this, I've noticed over the years, when he lets out this behaviour to someone who is not close family eg. daughter in law or grown grand child. The rest of us just need to come and go from him or he will settle in to the dictating abuse role with us as his default way of being and thinking. I feel that you could use some geographical distance? 

[Krishna]

Hi @Trauma seems your best option is to move out and focus on your life. If money is an issue perhaps you could look at share accommodation? Sounds like you've been suffering through this for too long already and you have to make your health and wellbeing top priority. I'm assuming an open honest discussion with your dad wouldn't be an easy thing but always worth a try if you haven't done so already. Good luck and may you find peace somehow.

[Trauma]

im currently seeking housing options and have somewhat support in that aspect but I feel like I need some more extensive support and I wouldn't wanna go into criss accommodation or housing rooms due to my concerns for my safety, I have been suffering with this from living with my mum multiple years and being not just mentally but physically abused too, I've and still am working on leaving that stuff in the past and accepting it, and by all means I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just at a lost cause right now, I mean I'm trying to do what's best for me and I feel I'm taking the right steps (I still have my days and slip ups) but thank you to everyone who has commented, in regards to speaking to him, I feel that damn anxious, like I don't even wanna approach him cause I don't know if he will bite me and jump down my throat so to speak..😔😔😔

[Trauma]

Distance would be beneficial I feel...it's very mentally draining living like this for so many years of your life, I get up and brush my stuff off and go about my day though, I mean there are still times I won't get what I need to get down and that's okay too, I've learnt to not beat myself up within the balance of prioritising what needs to be done for myself