Lived Experience Forum

[Emelia8]

I really feel for you @BlueBay 😔

And I can understand your reaction to the complete nonsense that your mother feeds you. 😳🌹

On a better note, well done for resigning your job. I'm sure it is a good decision for you right now. So it pleases me that you feel okay about it. Perhaps it even gave you a certain satisfaction in telling them that you were leaving? It would me I think, given how poorly you have been treated at times. Hope you hear something from the chemist soon, about the other job.  Though not too soon, because I feel you need some time out first, before commencing any new job. Time to heal now.

Missing you @Owlunar 🌷

Emelia 🌸

[Former-Member]

Sending lots of support for you @BlueBay  💐I'm sorry to hear it sounds like its been an emotionally intense time. I'm very glad to hear, though, that you'll be taking a few weeks off for rest and recovery. 

I hope you've got some ideas for things you can do today to take care of yourself? 💞 

[BlueBay]

thanks for your reply and support @Former-Member @Emelia8 

i am hurting because a mum should not do this to her own children

i feel i am excluded from family things; i feel like i am the cause of all this 

it's not MY fault i was sexually abused as a child

i am needing a break to rest but not really sure what to do @Former-Member  

a walk down the beach

sit and coffee at the beach

play with my 3yr old granddaughter

apart from that i have no other things - 

[BlueBay]

I can't live like this anymore 

I don't know Whst to do 

we have no money 

panic desperation has set in 

there's no living 

[Jupiter]

Hearing you and sitting with you @BlueBay 

[BlueBay]

My life is over 

it's all too much 

[Jupiter]

@BlueBay You've done well to reach out for support today but I can hear things are really tough at the moment 

It sounds like perhaps it would be helpful to talk things out with a counsellor? As a reminder, you can reach out to the following services for one to one support:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

SANE Help Centre: 1800 18 7263

[Emelia8]

Dear @BlueBay ... you sound like you are panicking.  Can you do me a favour?  Sit down with a nice cuppa ... take a few calming breaths ... and let your mind concentrate on all the good things you have in your life.  Your life is not over ... you have so much to live for and so much living still to do.  I know things are really hard right now ... but its definitely not time to give up BB.  Think of your loving husband, children and grandchild.  Think of all the things you enjoy in life ... a trip to the coffee shop, a walk on the beach, a greeting from Jersey, a weekend trip away, time spent with delightful little A.  These are all great things BlueBay, and I'm sure you have many other things you can think of. Life is worth fighting for BB ... so do all the fighting you can muster.  If that means calling a help centre .. then do it.  Stay safe.

Emelia 💞

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

It really breaks my heart that you are in another state of panic and your life is passing with so little joy. There are things in life we can't change and to be happy we simply must accept them - and also - things we can change and we need to gather our resources and act - and as the prayer goes - learn to know the difference

From what I immediately gathered was that you have run into this sudden bad patch after your mother threw her dish-water over you yesterday. I can't understand why you keep after her - there is nothing to be gained - she can't seem to help herself and it's not your fault that she is the way she is. And I know - I truly do - I would walk away from my mother and stay away for years - and it is really hard - I know this - but it's the only way to you to have some peace - some control over the situation - even some degree of happiness with what you do have in your life.

I wish better for you - and your life is not over - I have shadows in my own past and they are there - they are the truth - and I know there is nothing I can do to change anything in the past

I saw my mother's regret just before she died and I would not want that for myself and I won't - and I don't want it for you either but you have to think hard and draw some conclusions for yourself to find a better way.

I want that for you so badly. Live for your family and take advantage of the beach so near to you. 

And take advantage of this time when you can't work because of your health - you need to recover from the stress of the last fews weeks and this is your chance.

I do wish you the best

Dec

[BlueBay]

@Owlunar @Emelia8 @Jupiter @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51  
I'm panicking because our savings our money is getting very very low.  Desperately low. I'm went into terrible panic. Eg. How do we cope. How do we live?

I broke down eith hubby and he is now taking tomorrow and Friday off work. I think he's worried. He told me he gets paid tonight which I completely forgot. 

Reg my mum - I'm not letting her get to me snymire. I've been treated like crap all the time. She acts out she's a caring mum when I'm in hodpital.  She has def something wrong with her. 

i know deep down I am grateful for all my children hubby and little A. 

I've hit the panic button. I will reach out tonight to online Sane counsellor. 

I need to calm down. I'm getting so stressed that my stomach has been terrible.