Lived Experience Forum

[Paladin67]

Hi to all, 

I have decided to join this forum because I need to connect with people who know what it's like to experience life with complex mental health issues. I recently had a traumatic experience with a therapist and it's caused a personality split. The therapist, whose behaviour had triggered the trauma, then suddenly disengaged This is very isolating. Having to wait months for our next consultant psychiatrist appointment complicates things. It's hard when everyone you know realises you aren't who you were. I still find it distressing to look in the mirror and not see myself, or to write and see someone else's script. My real/original self has Asperger’s, ADHD, c-PTSD, OCD, MDD, GAD and DID. 53 year old man. He's usual other self is a 35 year old woman who used to be a 9 year old girl. Life is interesting. However, it's amazing how difficult it is when one's most significant support is suddenly withdrawn and nothing is done to find a stopgap.

My other selves don't leave our new unit and that's sad. Fortunately, we have a wonderfully annoying cat who is a great companion, even if I did change her name.

Anyway, things are still mostly manageable and the shrink appointment is in a little over 2 weeks, but I would like to try connecting with people who might be able to understand. 

Thank you for reading this. 

Regards 

[Former-Member]

I like your sense of humour, which somehow shines through your post, in spite of the pain.

@Paladin67 

I can relate to the Aspie side, tho not offically diagnosed.

Off hand, I think @Maggie is one person who can relate to the DID.

Hope you get more responses.

I love your thread title ... Complex vegemite ... do you mind if I use that phrase in conversation?

Cheers

[destructive]

Welcome @Paladin67 👋 

Sounds like your therapist ghosted (just stopped communicating) you?? That would be rough!! Glad you have some more support not far away and hope they are more helpful. 

[Paladin67]

Hi 4the-earth,

Thank you for responding. I should change my handle to Complex Vegemite so please use it. Thank you for the welcome. He was only diagnosed a little over 3 years ago and it completely changed the narrative of his past. He walked out of the psychiatrist’s office and nothing had changed but everything had changed. Amazing. However, it's only with my becoming conscious, and my capacity to slow down his/our thinking, that I am beginning to understand the impact of the Asperger’s. It is amazing the language and relational workarounds he's developed. Unfortunately, it's also a significant contributor to the childhood trauma and the c-PTSD. Growing up in FNQ in the 1960's and 70's.

Humour. Without it we'd be a basket case, rather than a recovering basket case. 

Best regards 

[Paladin67]

Hi destructive,

Thanks for your reply. The situation with the therapist is far more complex than I can write here but it has shown me how powerless consumers of mental health services can be. Additionally, it's shown me how little accountability there can be concerning therapist's behaviour. Given my friend's long history of mental health challenges, a therapist would always be considered to be more credible.

Best regards 

[chibam]

Hi @Paladin67 ! Welcome to the forums!

I can't relate to any of the conditions you've listed there, but I can most definitely relate to the experiance of being badly mentally harmed by a therapist. Among other things, my treatment caused me to "snap" and self-harm (something I'd never done before or since; totally not me), and also caused me to be overcome with disturbing visions/imaginings - like a flashback, but of stuff that hasn't happened. It's been over 8 years since I've been rid of that woman, yet I'm still suffering from most of the damage she did.

I'm afraid I can't offer any remedies for the harm you've suffered. I can only hope you are treated well by your next therapist.

Good luck!

EDIT: I just read some of your subsequent posts.

Yes, you are absolutely right. No accountability for the mental health system nor the therapists within. Society printed them off a "can do no wrong" card without a single iota of thought or scrutiny. Nobody ever set up to double-check their work or keep watch over them to make sure they remain decent. Centuries of them decreeing (usually with little if any sound basis) what the world is to believe about the "mentally ill" wretches, and what ought to be done to them; and nobody who matters ever stops to question their pronouncements.

It's a law unto itself, the mental health system - which is why it is totally divorced from the concepts of fairness, justice and compassion.

The good news is that most of the policy documents being generated these past couple years have strongly emphasized the need for patients to be part of the policy formulation process, and the calls to equip mental health clinics with "peer workers" (i.e. "mentally ill" therapists who can actually relate to and respect their patients) are loud and persistant. I think that, in the foreseeable future, the people who determine what "help" from the mental health system looks like will be the true experts - the patients themselves.

Accountability is coming, methinks. And positive outcomes will be close behind.

[Meatball]

Hi, I had experienced someone who actually has DID. It was about 4 years ago. I do have all the records of his behaviours. 
There was about 9-10 different person lives in his body. The strongest and smartest one was 91 years old who was born when the host body was 4. There was a girl 16 years old and some other person.( sorry can't go too specific)

You might really need someone to stay with you and care all your feelings. So you can trust her/ him. This would really help you get better.

The person I'm talking now is getting better but I don't not believe all these people are actually gone. He didn't see the psychologist before because we didn't have Medicare at that time. He went to see specialist half year ago and the specialist told him that he has aspanger not DID ( I do not agree with the specialist as the specialist did not see the actual splitted other persons and he is much much better than before)

I hope you will get better soon.