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Welcome & getting started

ButterflyPurple
New Contributor

Umm I guess i should say hi

Not sure where to start or what made me take the step to join this forum.

 

I go by the name of ButterflyPurple. I'm 38yo, married for 19 years this year. I'm a mum to a 17yo boy and an 11yo girl. My girl has Autism.

I myself have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Medication Resistant Depressive Disorder.

I struggle to get medications to work for me, at the moment I'm currently taking an antidepressant, mood stabiliser, anti psychotic and anti anxiety medication.

I have an amazing psychiatrist but every GP i find seems to suck in mental health. I see my psychiatrist as often as i can but aometimes it can be 2 or 3 months between visits. 

I struggle with suicidal thoughts and some days they consume my whole day. Self harm is a major issue for me.  On the odd occasion i have felt so suicidal i have presented to the emergency department but as soon as they hear or see BPD they send me home because I'm attention seeking. Last time they did that i ended up back in emergency via ambulance for an attempt less than 90 minutes later. The attempt was that serious that landed me in Intensive Care Unit for 4 days before being stepped down to medical ward.  I was unconscious when hubby found my by fluke. He happened to come home on his break which he never does except this day.

 

I'm not sure what the point of all my rambling is other than just wanting to know I'm not alone in this fight for life and happiness coz right now life is freaking hard.

 

Thanks for reading if you read this far and sorry for rambling.

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Umm I guess i should say hi

Hi @ButterflyPurple and welcome to the forums! I'm a Community Guide here and a forum member whose role is to make new members feel welcome and let you know about different parts of the forum community. There are Community guidelines that you might like to read to let you know what can be discussed and what can't be for example. The way you can bring up forum members names is by using the @function which will bring up names of people and key words or topics so that let's others know that you have posted something in a discussion thread and they can respond. 

I'd like to let you know that I too have Borderline Personality Disorder as well as depression and there are lots of other forum members that have Borderline as well. There is a discussion thread on Borderline Personality Disorder called Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script where members who have BPD discuss their issues around the condition that you might be interested in so I suggest you have a look there. 

I hope you enjoy being a member of the forums and I hope to see you around. Take care!

 

Judi9877☺️

Re: Umm I guess i should say hi

@ButterflyPurple Hey, Sending you love and light. I am drawn to butterflies because they're a symbol of hope. 

Re: Umm I guess i should say hi

Hello Beautiful Soul. I just wanted to say I see you and believe in you. You are not alone in this very rollercoaster ride we call life. Take Care and reach out whenever you feel the need.
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