Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[YGC]

Morning all, I stumbled across this website by accident while googling where I could possibly turn to for help for my 29 year old son who refuses to seek help as he has a belief that no one could possibly help him.  He has suffered for many years with depression and anxiety and smokes weed to cope with every day life. He has worked on and off for the last 10 years until something doesn’t quite go according to plan and then quits instead of sorting it out.  Now he has no money to buy his weed life becomes a misery for everyone in the household. He has talked about suicide a few times with me but thankfully always says that he just couldn’t do it. After many years of suffering I did manage to get him to seek help when he was 24, but that didn’t work out and only confirmed his belief that no one could help. I am not sure now where or who to turn to as there is no way he can have any chance of getting better without help.

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @YGC Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you're a very caring parent and it can be so stressful to see the ones we love suffering. You're right, professional supports would be the best place to start but it's hard when the person isn't willing. Wondering if your Son would be open to counselling over the phone, SANE can provide support but we cannot diagnose over the phone. Do you have a trusted GP you can reach out to for a referral to a Psychiatrist? It can be less intimidating to start with phone counselling and can open the door to further supports, it might make your Son more willing to try other supports if he has some positive experiences here. I would encourage you to have a look at the SANE Guided Service.

If you are worried about safety when thoughts of suicide come up, I would encourage you to call crisis support or 000 on behalf of your Son. You can also call the mental health line in your state.

Wishing you all the best on your journey!

[YGC]

Thank you for your response. After all the conversations i have had with my son about getting help, I doubt he would try phone counselling but hey, it never hurts to mention it. Unfortunately, no we don’t have a trusted GP that we can turn to nor does he trust doctors of any sort through bad experiences. 

Reading this forum has opened my eyes to the extent of these issues and good to know I’m not the only one. Really only my 2 other sons are to a degree aware of the extent of their brothers illness and I am dealing with the majority of it on my own, his father isn’t really interested nor the extended family.  This for me though is a good first step. 

[Paperdaisy]

You really are not alone in this unfortunately @YGC I wish there was more I could offer. SANE also offers peer support and that can be a good option for people who are untrusting of doctors, as peer support workers use their own lived experience to support others. Do you have an idea of the mental illness your Son might be experiencing, you mentioned depression/anxiety? There are lots of great peer resources out there now. 

[YGC]

Peer support sounds good if I can get him to understand that he’s not the only person to suffer in this way and that there is always hope. 

Believe it is only depression and anxiety although there are a raft of mental issues throughout my extended family,

never being officially diagnosed doesn’t help the issue. 

[Kilpa4]

Hi,

it's so tough being a parent.  We know there has to be a solution out there to help them, but it's hard when they don't put in the efforts.  I hear you.  I have a 20 year old son with mental health challenges and I worry about his long term future.  I guess we have to remember ( i am just reminding myself!) that they have their own journey to live and once they reach adulthood we have little say it what they do.

Maybe a trip to a GP together, get a diagnosis may be a start.

All the best.