Lived Experience Forum

[Hermey]

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[Former-Member]

Wow.. I have a couple of things to say here.. 

Firstly, I am kind of dumbfounded that a vet would take it on themselves to make a comment about an owner's psychological condition. You mention that the vet said it "in their own way", by which I assume you mean it sounded more like a personal opinion than a professional opinion? If it happens again, I would calmly tell the vet to stay within her field of expertise. She really shouldn't have gone there.

There are some studies that suggest that dogs can pick up on their owner's anxiety, because they look to their owner's facial expressions, kind of reading the mood. A lot of humans do that too LOL. If anything, it's a sign of your dog's connection with you, that they have developed a form of empathy in that regard.

HOWEVER, two points. Firstly, some breeds of dog are prone to anxiety anyway, just because of the way they behave. Secondly, there are still ways to manage your dog's reaction to your anxiety, EVEN if you're anxious yourself. Blatantly stealing from "DogTime":

• Try to keep a routine.
• Maintain their exercise regimen, and go for "walkies" regularly.
• Try to stimulate their brain. Apparently there are things called "puzzle feeders" which can really help. They totally sound like they would LOL.
• If you train your dog, keep that up, and use a lot of positive encouragement.
• Give your dog plenty of love and attention.

I know you don't have to worry about that last point, and that's the most important thing x.

The vet should have PAID more attention. #BURN!

Seriously, though, don't blame yourself. It is hard enough as it is.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Hermey 

@Former-Member has written such a comprehensive reply about dog behavior I don't think I can add to that

Hiwever  - I understand how gutted you must feel  - I am sorry about that 

Many years ago when my teenage son was abusing alcohol I went a meeting for family members who insisted it was my fault he was drinking. Of course it wasn't but I was heart-broken  - why would anyone say such a thing?

I am so sorry your vet said this  - imo it is not at all helpful when you are already so vulnerable 

We need to hear helpful and encouraging things - your furry friend might be a sensitive pet and shares your anxiety but catch it off you???

I am glad glad you have found us and I  would like this opportunity to welcome you to the forum  - we support each other here

Best wishes    - Dec🦉

[Former-Member]

@Hermey 

@Owlunar @Former-Member gave really good replies.

I also wonder if you may have magnified the level of blame that the vet intended.  I do not know as I was not there of course.  With anxiety giving yourself a hard time about it will not help, probably make it worse, so care for yourself as much as you can as you would like to care for someone else with anxiety.

In my vet experience, they are upping their game and as medicine for humans improves they try and apply it to animals in their care.  

Look after yourself and your dog the best you can. Its all anyone can do.  There are no perfect owners or carers.  I like the point about the dog having empathy.  Maybe you make it a bond and chat about it with your pet.  Yeah I know about those ... feelings.  Animals do have feelings and the movement to attend to that is partly about being considerate and not taking them for granted (which you dont do, cos you took it to vet and care about its health).

Cheers