Just checking in.

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej 🙂

Sorry about the wobbles 😏 Hope sons injury is better soon.

Totally get why feeling confident and not so broken is something you want. Do you have things in life you love doing or things that bring you those good/great feels? I wonder if there's a way of getting in touch with them more.

I spent a good chunk of the weekend with a full on dog and a teeny baby dog and have now returned to be with our full on baby cat. Both full on dog and full on baby cat have given me moments thinking how sometimes your face might look a bit like this :face_with_rolling_eyes: or 😖 with your dog!

Is your big day this week at the start, middle or end of the week (if you can and would like to share)?

[Zoe7]

@Teej  @CheerBear  Not much to say tonight but wanted to send you both lots of these  and a few of these 💐

[CheerBear]

❤ @Zoe7. I haven't been around to catch up on how you're doing. Hope Toby is going OK and your weekend has had some good in it for you.

[Teej]

Oh yes with 😖:face_with_rolling_eyes:😬😁😂🥰🤬 active dog @CheerBear and probably many more emoji. 

Life is definitely not boring with him. He is curled up snoring as we went for a biggish walk (well he did more than me) before. So here’s one of the things that happened last week. I had to drop son off near a beach and I took dog in the car as he loves the car. I drove to the beach and was half hoping that there would be no one one one particular stretch of beach but there were dogs and humans about every 50m. Dog was crying so much wanting to get out and I knew I’d feel good if we’d been able to get on the beach, it’s a calming place for me. Long story long story I couldn’t face taking him. It comes with shame and fear and me on really high alert and that would have just driven everything up a notch. The reason is that he is aggressive with other dogs when they come to us. I have to spend all my time telling everyone that my dog is not friendly and feel that shame. He also doesn’t walk on a lead often and I wouldn’t need one but with so many dogs off lead it’s too hard. In the past when I’ve put on my brave I’ve ended up frazzled and very wet. My dog loves to swim and fetch his toy. He isn’t interested in any other dog and doesn’t take notice of them but often other friendly dogs want to come and join in our games throwing his toy out into the water. I end up panicking and wade fully clothed into water up to my chest so I can prevent a horrible experience. Most dogs won’t come that deep and they can’t fight in the water. On Friday it just added to my big hopeless feelings and hurt and guilt for my dog, that I didn’t socialise him when I got him enough. He is so well mannered and comes to me when he sees another dog because he knows he’ll be put on his lead to keep him away from other dogs and it breaks my heart. We came home and I walked him on the same path at the same time I know I won’t see ther dogs 😔.

sending this now but will add to it. 

[Teej]

Good luck for tomorrow @Zoe7. I hope the day with the kids is as good as Friday. I hope Toby is a bit better too. I think he was sick on Friday. 💜🤗

[Zoe7]

Both Toby and I have been sick @CheerBear  Toby woke me up really early Friday morning wanting to go out and has only really returned to his normal self today. I was unwell Friday night and yesterday. Feeling much better tonight though. We have a public holiday here tomorrow so I am grateful that I have another day to recover before going back to work. It has been a busy week but I am very thankful that both of us were sick at the end of the week. Poor little Toby looked so sad and I was going to take him to the vet yesterday but I was too sick myself - thank goodness as the day progressed he was looking much better. The joys of having fur babies hey. 

[Zoe7]

Public holiday here tomorrow @Teej  so I am back Tuesday and then Wednesday off  Toby is a lot better thanks - back to his usual happy self. So lovely of you to think of him though 

[CheerBear]

Oh @Teej 🙁 I felt sad (for both you and dog) reading that. As you know, I'm not a dog person but they're growing on me. This full on dog I mentioned is my puppy nephew. He's big, bold and full of muscle. He's oozes love but is also completely bonkers and very much in a world that he is at the centre of. He turned on new baby dog when he met her when was being looked after for the evening (which is why we went to help out) and he looked sad and sorry for the rest of the time. My heart felt bad and he ended up sleeping in with me under the blankets. I think I had just a taste of some of those feelings you might have with your dog and that was enough 🙁

Hugs for the sick @Zoe7 but so glad to hear Toby is better and that your sickness has passed too. Great you have the extra day off tomorrow.

[Teej]

Oh that actually sounds good that you have tomorrow off @Zoe7 . So glad Toby picked up and you are a bit. Being sick is no fun 😒. 

@CheerBear Finding things I liked doing has been challenging but before the clink bus that is what I was trying to do. All my previous hobbies I’ve been unable to face since d day, couldn’t face music or tv or movies or anything much. This was the start of trying to build a new human too. Finding things and allowing myself to feel ok about them is so knew to me. I’ve only just begun really trying with it. 

Tomorrow is the day that clink social worker rings to book an appointment for job capacity assessment. I’m not sure when it will be though. Wednesday I have psych appointment. 

How have you been this weekend? Am I right in thinking dog belongs to friend? Or possibly unwell one? 

[Zoe7]

@Teej  I can only imagine what it is like to have a dog that really doesn't like other dogs much. Toby is exactly the opposite with both people and dogs but that also means he will go to anyone and that often concerns me. He doesn't come when I call him which is a problem. It is okay at the beach because he has so much room to run and play but it is a problem if we are anywhere else and he is off-lead.