A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Anastasia]

@Emelia8

[Sans911]

@Former-Member 

I'm sorry if you found my post distressing. Please accept my apologies. I was very distressed too. I find I no longer tolerate excessive noise and light. I have to distract myself significantly as I all wanted to was bolt out the door. Again I'm sorry that my post distressed you. I didn't intend for that.

[Sans911]

Please stay @Emelia8. Don't be on your own. You were being rationale, and the way you reacted was expected given your history.

Please try to talk to one of the female nurses next time. You don't have to go into any detail (because they'll guess anyway) but just tell them having a male nurse is not acceptable for you for personal reasons. In saying that, they might come back to you with a statement that it won't always be possible to meet your needs. Perhaps you can discuss if this is the situation then some boundaries might be required, like the male nurse does not have direct contact with your body, etc. If there is no other way to resolve the issue, then you should tell them to go slow, and that you might need to stop and have breathers at times with him out of the room.

Would a call to the Breast care nurses tommorow be helpful? They would certainly understand. You've done nothing wrong. Unfortunately our health system isn't trauma informed or responsive.

Gentle, gentle hugs. These are such difficult times for you. 💞💞💞💞

[Lee82]

Oh em I am so so sorry you had a terrible day today hun. I can totally relate to what you were feeling so know what it's like. Well done for being able to get through it even if it took a little longer than usual. From what you described you handled it very well sweetie. 
sending you a huge hug and hoping that tomorrow you are well rested and ready to take on whatever the day brings for you babe. @Emelia8 ❤️

[outlander]

@Emelia8 💕

[Eve7]

I am so sorry for your distress today @Emelia8  and I don’t find it silly at all. I want to drive you next week.

I hope you’re safe in your bed and sleeping soundly my very precious friend.

I am so glad you arrived home safely.

Big hugs

💖🤗💖🤗💖

[Former-Member]

Dear Em, all I want to do is reach through the screen and give you a hug or ten. Your reaction was not silly, not in the slightest. You are such a brave woman sweetheart, you got yourself together enough to continue. I can tell you now that I know I wouldn't have been able to do that. I just can't find the right words or any words right now. Sending you some light, love and strength. Love you @Emelia8 

[WIP]

I'm with you @Emelia8  you cant hear or see me, but you can feel me holding your hand and giving you a big warm hug when you need it.

I know this treatment is brutal, but we are all with you - only a tag away 💖💖🦋💖💖

[Former-Member]

Dear @Emelia8 

Glad you got home eventually, after having helicopter distraction.

The self love of metta or other spiritualities are not selfish at all.  It can take time to learn to apply the sensitive consideration to yourself. 

In a way your triggering response was rational given your history and all the trauma around the past and the current experiences.  The new trauma (cancer, naked vulnerability, strange people in an invasive situation) feeds into the old trauma.  It is a natural biological response of cascades of chemicals in the brain. Be kind to you.  I am glad you dont have to do so much to and fro next time.

It takes as long as it takes to calm down after something like that.  This next year is time for LOTS of COTTON WOOL cushioning YOU.  You have nobody else to worry about really.  The hubby should be getting his own family and council care and so should you.  

Gentlest of Hugs.

[Anastasia]

Hello Em, I don't want to disturb you if you are resting but just checking in on you, are you ok hunny, can I get you something, sit with you @Emelia8 ?