Please stay
@Emelia8. Don't be on your own. You were being rationale, and the way you reacted was expected given your history.
Please try to talk to one of the female nurses next time. You don't have to go into any detail (because they'll guess anyway) but just tell them having a male nurse is not acceptable for you for personal reasons. In saying that, they might come back to you with a statement that it won't always be possible to meet your needs. Perhaps you can discuss if this is the situation then some boundaries might be required, like the male nurse does not have direct contact with your body, etc. If there is no other way to resolve the issue, then you should tell them to go slow, and that you might need to stop and have breathers at times with him out of the room.
Would a call to the Breast care nurses tommorow be helpful? They would certainly understand. You've done nothing wrong. Unfortunately our health system isn't trauma informed or responsive.
Gentle, gentle hugs. These are such difficult times for you. 💞💞💞💞