Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

[Dimity]

Sorry I worded my response so strongly @Till23 I can be quite reactive and defensive.  I probably upset you and I apologise.

It's just that every time that worker has come she's been critical. Before the provider sent anyone they provided a list of acceptable cleaning products and equipment and I had an in-house OHS assessment to ensure I complied but this worker insisted I restock with far more expensive stuff that was also on the list. And  every time she's come she's told me I should be exerting myself more and doing everything myself although I had clear instructions and timelines from my surgeon and pelvic floor physiotherapy,  together with lifetime restrictions. I told her many times I was following medical advice. I'd had a condition much worse than average prior to surgery then a very bad experience with surgery and its sequelae. Meanwhile the service provider suspended my home help for months due to their policy re hospitalisation followed by being short staffed. The last thing I needed was a self-righteous person who thought I didn't look disabled enough or geriatric enough to deserve help and just needed a stern talking-to.  Every.Single.Time.

The second worker who's been a few times has been cheerful, friendly, hard-working, and non-judgemental. 

Non-judgemental.  That's important.  Sometimes it's kindest to take people at face value and not interrogate them or bully them into spelling out their medical conditions and asking them exactly where it hurts. I feel able to say that here as a keyboard warrior but would be incapable of saying it to the person who was here in my house this morning.

I appreciate and respect that I feel I can be open with you @Till23 and that you allow me to explain myself. It's a great gift. Thankyou.

[Till23]

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response @Dimity. I was concerned that I had upset you even though I was trying to be supportive, saying that I thought that what the home helper had said was totally inappropriate.

I don't think it is the worker place to decide what you should (or can) or shouldn't do. You have been assessed as needing assistance, so that's it, in my opinion. They also don't need to know what the impairment is, they are not a health worker, if they are helping around the home. It is not their palce to issue stern talking statements.

I know it might be hard to say F2F but could you just say I have been assessed as requiring assistance. It would be good if you could get the other helper more often.

I was not so much upset, as worried that you would be upset and not see my post for a while and you would feel more belittled or disparaged or however you were made to feel by home helper. 

It did play yet again into the Not Good Enough - but that is my problem, not yours. So I need to learn how to take people's feedback without jumping into the abyss.

So, from that aspect, for my own self, I'm happy you responded in such an understanding way - thank you

[Dimity]

Hope you've had a good day @NatureLover after such a difficult day yesterday.

[NatureLover]

Oh no, @Dimity ! That's outrageous. Her comments are not on. Especially as she's providing a service for people with disabilities!! 

Can you request not to have her again? And can you complain about her comments and attitude? Maybe other people have also complained about her, and the organisation will take steps to rein her in. 

I'm sorry that happened to you 😥

How are you feeling this morning, after that?! 

I had a slow, quiet day at home yesterday, much needed. This morning I went out on errands early. Am delighted by the sunshine. There will be at least 3 days of rain next week, so I intend to soak up the sun today and tomorrow. 

I also have more tidying to do in the kitchen, and 9 new library books to ritually wipe, and the lawn to rake. 

Hope you feel OK today... 🤞

[NatureLover]

Thanks so much for your personal message, @tyme ! Thanks too for remembering my S.A.D. 

It hasn't really kicked in yet, this year! Thankfully. I still get a little bit on cloudy days over summer, but not too bad yet. We've been having lots of sunshine in Melbourne, so that's why. 

Hope you're not too cold after being in America! 

[Dimity]

I really enjoyed the sunshine on my walk today @NatureLover .

I'm glad you've got more books in your TBR cache. Precious.

[Till23]

Hi @Dimity I just wanted to say hi and see how you are going.

I'm sorry it's taken me a while to do that today. I have been busy.

Hopefully, I have got my roof fixed with the roofer coming this morning and doing a fair bit of work.

This afternoon I have been making a presentation for my sport club to give to another organisation.

So, sorry for delay.

[NatureLover]

Glad you got sunshine for your walk, @Dimity . It clouded over in the afternoon, so I didn't end up sitting outside. I hope I can sit outside this afternoon. 

I only got a little tidying done, but lots of laundry. I'll try again today. But I did ritually wipe all 9 library books, of course! I need to water the garden this morning. 

What do you have planned for today? 

[Dimity]

Even a little tidying is better than none @NatureLover .

My big thing today is a neighbour's child's birthday party. I'm incredibly nervous and might just drop off the gifts and not go in. At present I'm very tired and just feel like hiding away.

Speaking to my psychiatrist Friday I realised how badly the family situation is impacting me but he said he didn't have any answers.

The home help asking me about my clutter and writing down the name of the main op shop I've taken stuff to underlines how important it is to get that at least under control.

Good luck with catching some sun.

[NatureLover]

Why would the home "help" write down the name of the main opp shop you use?!! How is that any of her business? @Dimity 

I think it's perfectly fair to drop off the gift and not go in! That's what I would do, even if I wasn't feeling fragile. Kids' birthday parties aren't my thing, not even my nieces' and nephews', and I've let people know that. 

I'm sorry about your family situation and how it impacts you 😥

I enjoyed being outside watering this morning. It's beautiful outside. Next up is doing the washing up - a rare occurrence as I re-use a single plate, mug, cutlery etc. I want to do the raking but my neighbour says he wants to. He probably won't do it, but I have to wait and see.