Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Rosie
Senior Contributor

Schizophrenia Awareness Week

Hey everyone,

 

I haven't written on here for a while. I found out it was Schizophrenia Awareness Week and I thought I would come back to the forums for a visit. I have been on and off here since 2016.

 

Recently, I had a brief reactive psychosis. It was strange and scary. There were a lot of life stressors and I began to think my boss could read my thoughts.

 

Not again!

 

It is something I keep trying to wish away, hope I grow out of it, "the medication fixed it" kind of thinking. Those definite thoughts. It's gone now. That must mean forever! Well, not in my case. 

 

Ok, so I accept I have psychosis. Fine. But the aftermath of it, is almost as bad as the delusions! Because I can see it in hindsight, I want to remove myself from it and everything around it, completely. I see the fearful fallacies my brain came up with, and I need to do something to change my whole life immediately, so that I can define myself as NOT the delusions. I wanted to sell my house and go camping forever. I wanted to quit my job because I didn't want to be anywhere near where I had the delusions, near the people who MUST know and think I am a whack-job!

 

Lucky I am compliant with my treatment and I go and see the psychiatrist and psychologist and take my meds. They told me not to go camping forever. Friends did too, maybe not as therapists, just when I told them the idea. Enough to make me stay where I am.

 

I must say, I am so glad I listened to everyone. There is beauty in being settled and living in a house (no matter how crappy) that I pay the mortgage on. And the people at work who might have seen me go quiet and a bit weird for a few weeks, definitely did not know I was thinking they were reading my mind and giving me secret messages.

 

So here I am on Schizophrenia Awareness Week with a safe space to write and share about a fresh psychosis, and be grateful for all the things I DO have. I find it helpful to use this perspective. As well as taking my meds and always keeping appointments with the psychiatrist. Another thing that helps is trying to see how strong I am. It is such a hard, hard illness to live with, and the stigma doesn't help. I want to crawl up and cry (and I do sometimes) but I always get out of that and realise I have way too much to do! One day I'm going to write a memoir about this illness, I'm going to be an advocate for others and I'm going to be able to talk about it openly with my employer and colleagues. 

 

I believe this can happen. One hundred per cent.

 

That's what helps me get up in the morning and stops me from crying all the time.

 

As well as writing, dancing, expressing myself, dreaming.

 

Take care everyone and happy Schizophrenia Awareness Week!

 

Rosie

 

 

 

 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Schizophrenia Awareness Week

Such a beautiful heartfelt post @Rosie 

Just saying hello.

Re: Schizophrenia Awareness Week

Thanks @Appleblossom  😊

Re: Schizophrenia Awareness Week

@Rosie  i can empathise with a lot of that.

 

 

i am not sure exactly where i am on my journey but acceptance is hard especially when there is a part of me that still has some "strange" beliefs they have said i am treatment resistant so i guess that explains why the meds dont get rid of everything like they do for some people but then there is always the nagging feeling of well maybe it isnt getting rid of stuff because that stuff is real and isnt just in my head idk it is hard. i am trying my best to take my meds and do what the doctors say but it is hard everything is a struggle at the moment and i wish it wasnt.  i just hope that one day things are easier.  

Re: Schizophrenia Awareness Week

I'm grateful my bosses have never been able to read my thoughts...

 

gamesatwork2

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing, hearing other people's experience of psychosis makes my own experiences a little easier to bear.

Re: Schizophrenia Awareness Week

Hi Rosie,

 

Natural and manmade frequencies go against our head and feel depressive and nefarious.

 

Most people just live under it.

 

But if you resist it you notice it more.

 

There's nothing wrong with you. 

It's just a stupid world.

 

Take care *hug*

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance