"first Admission" for This Year, is what I meant to type.
It turns out that an event I had convinced myself had happed 30-odd years ago, actually didn't happen TO me or my family. No trauma from an event, just an anxious mind reacting to news items and things I have seen and can't do anything about.
So basically I'm living one big delusional lie. Makes me feel soooooooooooo good about myself, as if I need any assistance to feel hatred towards myself. Psych not avail. til Monday so just have to "wear it" til then. I've worn my own eggagerated delusions all my life so what's a few more days.
At least my nurse followed up with me like she said she would.
I really want to yell a particular swear-word long and loudly into the atmosphere right now. On a slightly humorous note, if I did do that outside right now, no one would hear me over the hailstorms! Maybe sitting in the rain in my undies would help? Might settle for washing my face in cold water and then an ice pack for a similar effect without the noise...and risk of being struck by lightning...
So low and so angry at my younger self for making up such a horrible story and telling everyone about it forever more! We'll, now she can finally shut up.
