Feeling real low and hopeless

[fruitisgood]

@REDLINEZ750  awe the image of having a buddy snoozing while leaning against you is kind of sweet. its like the human  equivalent of the cat napping on your lap haha. 

It did not come with a helmet! Im unsure on helmet laws here but I uhh... rarely wear one. Although I guess its a good reminder to invest in one. I usually cruise pretty leisurely. 

Thats understandable. as long as you feel content in your life thats what matters. 

Im sure therapists have gone through this many times with patients, especially if yours is a limited sessions kind of situation too. She probably knows or atleast suspects how youre feeling about it, and Im sure they have some training to help patients ease out of the sessions too. Do what feels right for you. and let yourself grieve, too. 

Oh! umm.. the show is called Steven Universe. Its a kids show which I think puts off alot of people, but its a really damn good one and explores so many themes in such a mature and insightful way. The epilogue series Future especially does an amazing job of exploring the fallout of someone whos developed ptsd. It has left me in tears many times. 

Despite all the heaviness though, there's a... charm. The entire show is built on character development and their evolving relationships with each other, told through the eyes of a young kid on the cusp of adolescence. The setting is this beautiful little serene seaside tourist town and you really get a sense of space and being immersed in the world when you watch it. It has helped me through this really difficult time in my life where I just left a 4 year relationship. I needed to, but the pain and grief are still real and I still feel alot of hurt and sadness. 

The show is my escapism.

[REDLINEZ750]

@fruitisgood   hey therres worse things than crying because your empathetic to a worthy topic on tv,

that is something i found outt too young

kids shows were once sesame st, walt disney or cartoon but these days they have just as much topic and content as any adult show only easier to digest and relate to.

seriously i  dont give a rats about helmet only in sydney get the wrong cop thats nothing better to do than chase and catches you the fines up near $400 here npw and even my non compliant no dont want to dont have to mindset sees a helmet only costs 20.

i dont actiually own a tv by design but might have a look inline see if anything found

breakups are never easy if been sharing bed at night, no matter if yheres anger or even hatred around the split a shared bed feels very big and empty for a bit i hope you are able to remember more why you had to break up than the down feelings in short time.

work will get less demanding then also id say

is it a field your educated in or experienced or a new venture entirely?

[REDLINEZ750]

forgot the "to use for escapism' in first line of last post

hope  it makes more sense now

[RiverSeal]

Hey @REDLINEZ750, thanks for sharing your experiences with the community!

I totally get it when we lose a support that we really connect with and that it can bring on some uncomfortable feelings. I had a case manager back some time ago and I did not want to lose her but in the end I had to say goodbye. What I actually realised was that it made me more inderpendant and less relient on a particular support. I Iearnt to appreciate my supports while I have them and accept new supports more easily. Just some reflections I wanted to share with you ❤️ 

I also just want to let you know about a new support services that I found out about that you might like to look into: https://www.wellways.org/our-services/listenwell-warmline/. It might be nice to fill that gap with some peer work while you find another psychologist.

Here at SANE we have the Guided Recovery program where you can receive support from a Peer Support Worker or Counsellor for up to 15 weeks. You can check out the Guided Service here - Welcome to SANE’s Guided Recovery and decide if you want to pursue it. Whenever you are ready, you can chat to SANE’s mental health support workers who can assist with a referral, simply call 1800 187 263 or chat on the webchat at sane.org and let them know that you were referred from forums. They can help you with questions and check things like whether you have enrolled before or not. They're available 10am – 8pm Mon-Fri.

Anyways some food for thought that may increase your supports if you feel it would be beneficial!

Take care

RiverSeal 

[fruitisgood]

@REDLINEZ750  oh the crying part isnt bad at all! I struggle to cry properly and having something to envoke those feelings really helps get it started. 

Its incredible how kids shows have evolved over time and I agree theyre often easier to digest and relate to.

Id argue though if you go back and really look at what some writers and creators were doing in the 90s onwards you'd be surprised what subjects they address. I think SU was one of the first to really openly represent queer people though and thats pretty cool. 

yeah 400 isnt worth it is it 

When I fall into spells of missing them and thinking of reaching out again, I remind myself why I left. The emptiness is encroaching at times. 

Its kind of new territory. Adjacent to what I've done in the past but more in-depth with new skills and focus. 

Hope you have a lovely Sunday! The weather is good here today and Im going to take that new bike for a spin 🙂 

[REDLINEZ750]

Hi @RiverSeal and thank you.

i get my wellcoming call on Tuesday i believe as have been allowed put myself through guided recovery.

its my lens and self taught views of no one can hurt me unless i give them the information needed to do it, do not care one oyota if you have a bad opinion of me coz you most likely have reason to and dont know me you know how i present in your company.

being on heres a bit different like sharing my writings that no other humans seen till here and talking about younger years its actually very foriegn, its not so much aninomity either coz people that are able to recognise me by my little lion and bike and some events will leave it if they are on my phone list most likely.

so all that ramblings to give context as to why in my case its solely based on her being given too much trust by me where of course its therapy and all proffesional ethically and morally i associate trust with loyalty and continuity, if its a friend say and theres a wrong been done if theres trust and loyalty then it gets bought up and dealt with for the continuity of whats been developed unless its its so disrespectful it needs a different dealing to coz blood spilled ends anything so hope that makes sense coz i can agree its an attachment thats my mistake i do not agree its from being insecure or needy as it sounds when its said.

attachment is not to her person so much more so to the values that  are so important to me being taken by a person behind a desk that does thinks they are worthless and theres to take.

this is why my mind wants to attack as i can hear the thoughts of it wouldnt upset you if you werent so dependent or maybe your lieing to yourself thats why you try so hard to express a different narritive and i want to axe something in frustration of being misunderstood.

all while sitting still and expressionless.

i will explore that link out of respect with no expectations

thanks for post i hope you have good day

[REDLINEZ750]

@fruitisgood Rattling my brain what SU abbreviates although its most likely a no brainer, even the topic doesnt help ugh!

my learning whats in kid shows these days

i watched a cartoon and the uncle had a mad firework and his nephews wanted it,

uncle says to nephew tell ya what take this

(square object wrapped nicely in brown paper and vaccum sealed)

object across the border and ring this number and only give it to this person and bring back his object you can have the firework.

my jaw was on floor this is a cartoon im thinking, i know exactly what that bad man (moderator unhappy with prior description) getting them kids to do! i was shocked and outraged my kids thought i was funny but that wasnt as far back as 90s.

enjoy your ride! theres a space called whats your highlight today big or small come share it and if your comfortable to share your ride there or another highlight  they are very accepting no judgement users where you would be wellcome

enjoy the sunshine

[SAL069]

Just reading others discussions about leav in g long term relationships but struggling with the monotony and loneliness of real life afterwards .. 

I keep putting it off because I don’t have the strength to sustain what I’m reading others going thru 

Not sure what I’m asking for here - possibly others experience of how they got thru this and created a better life 

[REDLINEZ750]

@SAL069  if your staying in a relationship that you refer to as living in hell and as you said know you have to get out if theres no kids and your safetys not at risk could it not only be better?

im not saying what to do and wouldnt, it certainly makes things hard if you dont have people to lean on  going through a break up is  not any easier through being necessary, is it clear for you  which way has a better impact on your health and well being 

[SAL069]

Yes and thank you - it’s good for me to hear this - there’s an animal involved (difficult to get accom with this however I’m working through options) - he has a chronic illness so I keep getting roped in ..
I really appreciate your response and reminder - been packing things and sneaking things out as we speak