My Mosaic

[Snowie]

Hi @Bow 

I know in the past that your SW has been quite chatty. That can make things difficult, especially when you need to be able to tell someone what is happening with you. Sometimes you just need her to listen. Even if they don't have any suggestions, just listen.

Glad afternoon tea went ok. It's good to have nice neighbours. We had new neighbours move in across the road yesterday. ohh I hope his music doesn't keep you awake at night!

That would be a pretty cool studio.

So happy D is better hon, for your sake hon. It takes a lot out of you too when caring for a sick child. At least you don't have to worry about school runs after this week.

How is your Xmas shopping going? 

I'm ok, last night was rough. 

[Bow]

@Snowie  the SW today was a different one. She was actually my very first SW, will call her K. Then I had the best SW L. She’s gone now. Now I have SW R. But she is on leave for the week and I have been allocated SW M. But K and R are very chatty. Not sure what M is going to be like. Sorry for all the confusion! 

I’ve actually never heard our neighbors music. He has sound proofed it pretty good. 

D is currently covered in hives. Not sure what it is from either. They popped up while we were at afternoon tea. But they have continued to spread. Thankfully she isn’t too uncomfortable with them and she’s had an antihistamine. 

Christmas shopping? Hmm I think I’ve done most of it. Fingers and toes crossed that a Temu order comes in time! D decides to write her Christmas list on like Wednesday night. And a couple of things I really can’t get here. She wants a fox and a cats tail!! She also asked for an airbrush! And I was like NOPE! Sorry not happening! She is far too messy and not responsible enough for that. I told her I wasn’t going to get it for her and the look on her face and I immediately realised what I said and what she thought. I thought I just gave away the whole Santa thing. But then I told her that Santa and I would work on her list. Santa only ever gives a one small gift. I think I saved myself! 
but yeah I need to go to the shops one day this week and grab a few more things. Mum is hard to buy for. And I need to get something for my niece and nephew.

have you finished your shopping?

[Jynx]

Hiya @Bow @Snowie 

Sorry to hear it was not the energy you wanted this morning @Bow - hopefully tomorrow with this other SW goes differently. She's the one you're able to text, who is filling in for the regular one right? Maybe you could text her to just chat a bit about how the visit this morning felt for you - that was she knows not to bring that kinda energy tomorrow and already knows that you're perhaps needing a bit more gentleness. 

That sounds dope, your neighbours sound cool as!! I was chatting to Captain about this too, that our bodies are super sensitive to the energies of others and when we're not used to being around them, it can feel super overwhelming and exhausting at first. 

Do you wish they hadn't called, or wish you'd not missed it?

Sorry to hear things are so rough for your little one, she's really copping it!! Hope she bounces back before Santa!! 🤞

[Snowie]

No confusion hon @Bow Didn't realise it was a different SW. There have been quite a few. Is hard when you get used to one and then they change. I guess they are going to be different but doesn't make it any easier for you though.

Oh thats no good for D. Hopefully the meds help and they are gone soon. Does she normally get them? I had so many issues with S when he was young with eczema, hives, allergies. Quite a few allergy specialists. Now he is fine.

That was a good save hon! I used to tell my kids that they got one present from Santa and the rest from us. 

Haven't finished shopping yet. I find buying for my kids harder these days. When I ask them what they want they just say money. So I buy them a few little things and then just give them money. Also waiting on orders from Temu and Amazon. Have to pick up one from Kmart tomorrow. 

Still have to buy for mum, MIL, FIL and H.

I don't buy for my nephews and nieces anymore. Since they are all adults now we stopped it.

[Bow]

@Jynx  I’m really not sure what to expect with this SW tomorrow. I’m a fair bit anxious to be honest. Just gonna have to wait see.

I think it’s just people in general for me at the moment. Even people I know well. I have withdrawn so much and isolated myself that any form of peopling is just so much for me at the moment. Like it’s sucks ever ounce of energy from me. Like normally I’d be ok with it. Maybe it would cost me a couple of spoons. But it takes so many more spoons at the moment. 

don’t know how to answer that one to be honest. If I’d been able to take the call knowing my luck it would be someone I don’t know and who hasn’t been bothered to take 5mins to read my file and I would of been even more irritated by them and probably hung up again. Them not calling at all could have potentially been easy cause I just wouldn’t have needed to think about. It would confirm more there total lack of care. But even them calling today. Like why? Weekend calls only usually happen if you’re in a bit of crisis and it’s been requested as a check in. Like who requested they call today? Was it like a Friday arvo thing? ‘ oh crap we didn’t call her again this week can someone do it over the weekend?’ Sigh

she’ll be fine! But she is a bit of a …. Oh mum I have a scratch I need a bandage, kinda kid. Or I’ll see a scratch or something and point it out and ask what happened and then she’ll be a bandage! 

you ready for Christmas Jynx?

[Jynx]

You never know @Bow could end up being someone who you vibe with really well 😊

That's so valid hun, I don't think it reflects on your values or how much you value your relationships, and is just about how much capacity you have right now - which isn't a lot. It doesn't mean it's going to be this difficult forever.

Sounds like it's left you more confused than anything. But hey, they obviously do care, even if it's a later contact than you expected.

Haha aww well it's good she cares about wound care!! Teehee

I think so, been working out dates to fly back to NSW to see the fam. Doing a more lowkey one this year I think, it's been a big one!!

[Bow]

My usually SW said we might vibe cause apparently we are a similar age and she has a D too a couple of yrs younger than mine @Jynx  so maybe. 

yeah not much capacity at all. I love the few friends I have, but I don’t overly enjoy catching up. It’s just too much. Even when my bro and SIL come over, I often have to disappear for a few to catch a breather. I’m catching up with my bf this week. And also an older lady from my church. I already feel exhausted!

confused indeed! My CM is back this week… think Thursday I have an appointment to see her. Will be interesting to see what she has to say about it all. 

it sure has been a big one! 

[Bow]

Yes there has been alot of changing around @Snowie 

@the meds helped and they have all cleared up now which is good. She does get a lot of hayfever. We had some allergy bloods done years ago but there wasn’t anything major. Like I was expecting pollen or cat or dog or something like that cause of how bad her hayfever is. But no. But we have found a ‘snotty pill’ that works for her so that is good. 

do you make giving your kids money fun? Like put it in a massive box and wrap it in 10 layers of wrapping paper?

we sometimes do that for my brother in tassie. We give him money or a voucher but wrap it up in heaps of paper and sticky tape. Might stick a chocolate or lollie in each layer too. One year we sent him a jigsaw puzzle and put pieces of the puzzle in each layer and then a picture of the puzzle as the prize in the middle. We would FaceTime him and watch him unwrap it and laugh!

[Snowie]

Change is hard hon, especially when it is our supports. Seems just to get comfortable with someone and then bamm, a change.

Glad it has cleared up for D @Bow 

I've never thought about doing that with the money hon. You have given me a really good idea. I might have to try it. It would be so much fun watching them unwrap it.

I have to go to kmart tomorrow. Will have to buy some chocolates!!

[Jynx]

@Bow 🤞💜

So valid hun - I know it can make us feel very guilty too, but most people can understand that we don't always have capacity to be as social as maybe we wish we were. I hope they end up being lovely lil catch ups!!

Good luck with the week ahead, may there be some glimmers and wholesome moments along the way. I'll catch up with you next week! 💜

Huuuugs!

(づᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡