Lived Experience Forum

[redhead]

Hi. I'm new to the forums so I don't really know what to do.
Back story. I'm 22 in 2 days and have struggled with mental health issues my whole life. I was diagnosed with BPD nearly 5 years ago and yesterday I was also given the diagnosis of bipolar II.
I'm currently having a hypomanic episode and I don't know what to do or how to handle it.
There are many positive things about being manic but there are also many negatives. I feel fantastic. I feel indestructible. Nothing is getting me down. I have all this energy. My house is spotless. but I also I feel out of control. I can't sleep. I can't think straight. I can't sit still. I can't concentrate. I'm talking so fast you can't understand me. I'm seeing and hearing things. I'm impulsive.
I would love any tips on how to cope with this or what to do to bring myself back to normal. I don't want to get even more out of control.

[Hobbit]

Hi @redhead ,

Firstly, a big welcome to the forums to you!!

You will find so many great people here, who can give you some really good and practical advice and support.

Wow, you received a diagnosis of bipolarII only 3 days before your birthday!! Things must be hard for you, being so up and down all the time. How much support do you have? Have you got a good network of friends or family around you?

Well, you have friends here, believe me. I wonder if some of our members might like to introduce themselves to you and converse with you - @kristin @kenny66 @kato @Alessandra1992 @PeppiPatty 

In the meatime, you might like to check out the Mental Health Association's page here, that have all sorts of factsheets on how to de-stress and relax.

Also, keep posting!!

Hobbit.

[kenny66]

You are so right, when you are manic you feel fantastic. Problem mostly is that you tend to have a bit of a crash once the manic period is over.

My medication helps quite a bit but it is a temptation not to take it just to keep the episode going.

So my flat mate makes sure I am medication compliant and I have some techniques which ground me.

However even when you know you are acting in a manic way somehow the brain doesn't get told that so you tend to just keep on with the manic behaviour.

My mental health team have given me some technique's  to help ground me and there is plenty of stuff available online about this.

I have on occasion used mental health online assistance services, which are also very good and giving some support to get you through a prolonged period of this behaviour.

You need to talk through these strategies with your psychiatrist/psychologist who can prepare a program specifically for you.

Unfortunately it is a feature of the disorder but is very controllable

[kristin]

Dear @redhead 

A very warm welcome to the forums! It sounds like quite a rollercoaster you are dealing with. I really relate to those feelings, and the talking too fast.

I know what you mean about the mania feeling pretty good in some ways. But it is also scary as hell (or at least I find it so) because there is eventually only one way to go - with gravity. Down. The crash is often harder than the high of the mania. So after many years of living with bipolar 1 (but undiagnosed) I have learned now that it is best if I head myself off before the high, as soon as I notice myself getting more than a little bit manic. I try a combination of midfulness and lots of enforced quiet time. This helps me to be more grounded. So as much as possible I keep appointments, car trips, meetings etc to a minimum of what is absolutely essential or is going to directly contribute to my well-being in the present or immediate future. I try to ask myself the question with each thing I'm doing or considering "is the net effect worth the cost?"

You sound like you have a lot of self-insight which is great. I had virtually none until my forties, so you are doing well. Mindfulness (or Acceptance and Ccommitment Ttherapy) is something you can Google. There are heaps of different exercises, so there are likely to be some which appeal to you more than others. Give them a go and then keep practising them. It is like a muscle the more you use it the stronger it gets.

I'm not sure whether Hobbit mentioned @kato , who also has a suspected diagnosis of bipolar II. He's been pretty unwell lately, but if he's around I'm sure he'd be happy to say hello too.

You mention the recent diagnsis, so you clearly have some MH support - have they given you any further suggestions of practical help with managing the mania?

Take care, and please keep posting. Feel free to use the forum's search function on words like bipolar, mania, mindfulness, etc and contribute to the conversations if you feel inclined.

Take care of you, it sounds like you are working on it.

Hope for a balanced path endures...

Kind regards,

Kristin 

[PeppiPatty]

You may be impulsive but your also a lot gutsier than I was at 22years old.
@redhead, noticed that you've got messages from two or three other people like my darling online friends @kristin and @kenny66

How are you today ?

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @kristin, good idea talking about !

like your message.....good ideas about mindfulness. It's really helped me in the past. I was dealing with mindfulness this morning..?...

[redhead]

@Hobbit I have a really good mental health team and my mum is supportive even tho most of the time she has no idea how to help me.

@kenny66 thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to not wanting to take medication, I am usually very good at taking it during my lows, but as you said I don't want this high to end because for once I'm not suicidal or depressed.
I haven't been able to get into my therapist yet and my psychiatrist just upped my meds without giving me strategies to cope with the high so I don't do anything I'll regret.

@kristin thanks. I do a bit of mindfulness but I'm not very good at it, my mind wanders too much. I did 6 months of dbt for my bpd, but me and my old therapist was only just starting to learn different mindfulness exercises. I have the app smiling mind which has lots of mindfulness meditation but I don't use it enough and atm I can't even stay focused for the 5min exercises.

@PeppiPatty
I'm a bit calmer today I took a couple of sleeping tablets last night and got a decent night sleep for the first time in weeks. Sleep always plays a big part in my moods I've noticed. I don't want to take more sleeping tablets tonight tho, I don't want to become reliant on them and I feel so fantastic right now.

[PeppiPatty]

@redhead
I like what you write about your Mum.

What does she usually suggest ?

[redhead]

@PeppiPatty Mum doesn't know I'm bipolar yet. I've been too scared to tell her. She knows about my borderline personality and just suggests I get professional help when I need it. She leaves for Europe for 5 months in 3 days so I don't really want to tell her about my mania, she would get worried.


The medication is starting to slow me down, I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing. I don't want this high to end. I don't want my meds. I'm so confused with what to do.

[redhead]

Really struggling tonight. I know I need to take my meds but I'm scared to sleep in case I wake up different and I'm scared the voices could attack me while I'm sleeping. This sounds really stupid sorry. Idon't know what to do.