@avant-garde i like having some empty seats around me at the cinema. glad you've got your exit sorted just in case, hope you enjoy and that everything goes smoothly!!
also this is in response to the other post:
i can definitely see where you're coming from. from my perspective, the fact that you want to stand up for yourself shows that maybe there's a part of you already that believes you are worthy and its almost like its fighting so that the worthiness belief grows stronger to overpower the unworthy belief.
not sure if this resonates with you, but a big part of why i'd 'battle them' was because i finally felt like i had the choice/option to. and it felt almost like, if i don't exercise that option, i'd be failing myself - which now, i know isn't true and it's just my brain working on being rewired, but before it definitely felt like that for me.
i won't tell you who to battle or 'stop' the battle as that's not my place, nor is it easy to do so. and sometimes those battles are necessary too like we've mentioned before. but i will say that whether you battle them/you or not, you are worthy. i'm so sorry that you've had to fight to be heard and seen, and feel valued - but just know that without the fight, you still always deserve to feel worthy and valued. i know its hard not to rely on external validation, but also, unless the person knows you as well as you know yourself, their opinion aren't always accurate and might skew how you think/feel about yourself. it's a tricky place to be in, cos i can see that on one hand, seeking validation of being worthy can feel really important because it's not strengthened internally yet but then on the other hand, it can very exhausting fighting for it and at times backfires.
