Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sleepy_Spinster]

My sister has been heavily researching the materials of Prof. Sam Vaknin on Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder.

From my research it seems he may not be a very credible source apart from his lived experience having narcissism, a certificate he has in mental health and that he teaches Psychology for an uncertified online course provider.

I am trying to check my biases so would love to know what other people have found on his credibility in the Psychology/mental health space.

[EternalFlower]

Im wary of some of the "experts" online who are more like influencers.

I never got in to Vaknin but have watched other youtube and instagram "psychologists" or experts on narcissism.

One i later found out made it sound like she was a clinical psychologist treating patients but she had only written a research Phd in tbe field of a specific area related to psychology and hsd no experience at all with clients.

my favourite online is Patrick teehan, he seems good.

[Sleepy_Spinster]

Yeah, I am trying to see the credibility for my sister’s sake but from what I can gather, his area of expertise is in economics.

[EternalFlower]

Lol that sounds about right.

They can be quite cultish if one sees them as gurus which is honestly a bit dangerous.

Theres a few of them online....dr ramani, rebbeca zung, jessica taylor....theyre expertise is idk...questionable but they make it sound like they have all the answers.

[wellwellwellnez]

There is so much "narcissism awareness" on the internet these days. By glancing at this person's thumbnails I think I already have an idea of what they're about.

Frankly, it all makes me sick. I'm someone who's lived with serious "narcissistic abuse". It doesn't give me license to dehumanize people. It doesn't give me the right to assume narcissism every time someone disagrees with me. It doesn't mean I need to use empathy as a weapon. All of these things are also narcissistic. It's exactly how my abuse-ringleader recruited us into their machinizations. Exactly. Step for step. Pound for pound.

In other words, two(or more) cycles of abuse don't make a right.

All abuse starts with one critical step. Deciding that the other person deserves that abuse. That way whatever we do next can be justified as "because of them".

I'm not going to take that first step. I know where it leads. More importantly, it would be an insult to my strength. It would mean that the abuse won. It didn't. Love won. Love is winning.

I'm sorry that your sister is going through pain. It takes a special kind of pain to be drawn into the rabbit-hole that she's in. She's trying to set some sort of boundaries. And needs to feel safe in order to do that. Good boundaries are a noble and worthy endeavour. I'd argue that the key is not in "beating enemies" but in "winning at friendship". Or something like that.

I'm only referencing my own feelings so best see my thoughts as anecdotal. I haven't done any empirical diligence. Just my own philosophical thoughts. Actually, this rant has been brewing in me for a while. Thanks for the invitation to spit it all out.

[EternalFlower]

I have also lived narcisstic abuse.

If its ok just to share, i saw a qualified psychotherapist wjo quickly told me my abuser sounded narcisstic.

I did watch some youtube vids online from similar ans started following a woman online called jessica taylor who has an org called victimfocus.

Both have been revealed as fraudulent. I think sometimes people use the sphere of narc abuse to prey on vulnerable people.

For me i still believe the dialogue around naec abuse is powerful but youve got to be careful who you trust in this area.