Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

[RadAcceptance20]

Hi there,
Thank you for sharing this with us. Leaving Defence after such a long period of service — especially through a medical discharge — can be a huge adjustment, and many people find it far more difficult than they expected. It makes sense that you’d be feeling unsettled and struggling to find your place after nearly two decades in a very structured environment.

You’re not alone in this experience, and it’s okay to talk about how challenging that transition has been. If you feel comfortable, you’re welcome to share more about what you’ve found hardest since leaving, or what support (if any) you’ve tried so far. Other members here with lived experience may be able to relate and offer understanding.

We’re really glad you reached out and posted. Please be kind to yourself — adjusting after service can take time, and support can make a difference.

Take care,
Moderator

[Rebmevon]

Hi, 

I have come accross this forum through Open Arms. I am keen to connect with other widows from the veteran community. 

[Shaz51]

@RadAcceptance20 , @Rebmevon , @192stoker 

a little tip is to put a @ in front of members names so they can receive your message and reply back to you 

at the top in the spaces , click on the veterans and to start a new discussions thread for sharing 

[Tracey5]

Hi guys, I joined cos I feel overwhelmed at the moment. I have depression and see a psychologist and was diagnosed with BPD many years ago. I live with my teen kids and partner but other relatives live overseas. Over the years I've been 'ghosted' by 3 friends. My aunt just stopped sending xmas /birthday  presents etc to us over a year ago. My brother who had reached out to me around 10 years ago on fb ( previously hadn't seen him for years) we got on i sent gifts to his family he did the same. I met up with him and his family 4 years ago it was lovely.  Then 2 years ago I said I was flying over for xmas did he want to meet up. His response was ' No Im busy. Happy Christmas " I asked if all was ok, if I'd done something wrong ' he said. " No,  happy Christmas'  then nothing for 2 years. Ive unfriended him and his family and my aunt.. I feel so sad and crying non stop. I can't deal anymore with being abandoned anymore. Im reaching out as I dont want to put myself out there anymore to be rejected. I dont want to ask them why. If they dont want to text me  I would rather just leave it and move on. What is wrong with me?? Sorry for the miserable.post. 😊

[RadAcceptance20]

Please welcome our newest community members:

• @fluffycat7 @Browbeating @Oanab 
• @Zebrastone @Cat34 @Diversity64 @Ruth12 @Tracey5 @LuluTrixibelle @A_PT                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hello and welcome 🌻 

  We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

  We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

  Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

  We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

  The SANE Forums Team e: team@saneforums.org

  We're people like you. While SANE Forums are moderated 24/7, this email account is only checked periodically. As SANE Forums are a peer-to-peer support community, we are unable to offer immediate one-to-one professional support. If you require urgent one-to-one professional support, please contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or 000 if in immediate danger.

  Get involved facebook · twitter · youtube · sane forums · support us

•  

[RadAcceptance20]

Hi @Tracey5 

I’m really glad you reached out, and I’m sorry you’re carrying so much right now. This doesn’t sound like a “miserable post” at all; it sounds like someone who’s been hurt repeatedly and is exhausted from it. 💛

What you’re describing — friends disappearing, family going quiet without explanation — can feel incredibly painful and confusing. Being “ghosted” or cut off taps straight into feelings of abandonment, and when that happens more than once, it can really shake your sense of safety and self-worth. It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and tearful.

I want to say this clearly as a moderator:
There is nothing “wrong” with you.
People pulling away without explanation is about their limits, avoidance, or circumstances — not a measure of your value as a person.

It’s also completely understandable that you don’t want to keep putting yourself out there just to risk being rejected again. Wanting to protect yourself isn’t weakness; it’s self-preservation. You’re allowed to decide not to chase answers or force connections that aren’t being reciprocated.

A few gentle points to hold onto:

• Having depression and a past BPD diagnosis does not mean you deserve abandonment.

• Feeling this level of sadness doesn’t mean you’re failing at coping — it means you’ve been hurt.

• Unfriending or stepping back can be a way of setting boundaries when contact is too painful.

It’s really positive that you’re already seeing a psychologist. If you can, this would be a very important thing to bring into those sessions — especially the repeated losses and how they’re affecting you now. You don’t have to solve this on your own.

Please know this group is a place where you don’t have to apologise for being honest about how hard things are. You’re not alone here, and you’re welcome to keep sharing at your own pace. 💙

[Shaz51]

• Hello and welcome
• @fluffycat7 @Browbeating @Oanab 

@Zebrastone @Cat34 @Diversity64 @Ruth12 @Tracey5 @LuluTrixibelle @A_PT      @RadAcceptance20  

so lovely to see you here today my friends 

[RadAcceptance20]

Welcome to the forums

Hi there @Ann99 , @Krysyal63 

 We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

The SANE Forums Team

e: team@saneforums.org

•  

[RadAcceptance20]

Welcome to the forums 😍

Hi there 👋

@Staffylover , @Pearl48 , @Mikee , @emkat , @City_Hustle , @Wabash , @RTGB , 

@BurntCarrot , @ignatius98 , @DLB 

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

The SANE Forums Team

e: team@saneforums.org

[Shaz51]

Hello  @RadAcceptance20 😊

@Mikee started a discussion thread but it has been moved but it has been locked and now no one can reply to his discussion,  can we get this fixed please