Exhausted and need someone to vent to....

[Belle5]

My daughter just turned 20,  she has BPD,  complex ptsd, major depressive disorder,  adhd and addiction issues.

Recent admission (again) 

New to the mix ice..... which has devastated us. 😢 

We have been on this journey for a long time. Every time I think surely we have hit rock bottom something else happens. 

I really don't know what else to do. 

She has a good family(we aren't prefect) but she has both parents that care and siblings. 

She wants to be around me a lot unless she's on a bender and I find  that so hard. I love her but some of the stuff that has happened especially with the recent incident 😕  I just can't pretend was nothing. 

I'm so scared of ice. She thinks she can beat addiction by herself that she is in control all the usual crap they say. 

We feel we can't kick her out nor really want to because then it will just get worse and potentially she could get pregnant on top of it.  We can't make her get better. But I don't know if we can keep living like this. 

[Shaz51]

hello and welcome @Belle5 

how are you going today , letting you know that you are not alone 

will tag a few members @BPDSurvivor , @Determined , @Smc , @Krishna , @RiverSeal , @Jynx , @tyme 

[Belle5]

Thanks still the same

[Krishna]

Hi @Belle5  and welcome. I hear you and sympathise with your situation. We went through this scenario with our daughter from age 18. Now 29. Years of chaos due to her having schizophrenia and addiction issues. Ours would come and go from our home (also good parents with a stable home life) hitchhike up and down the east coast never knowing where she was or if she was safe. Many many admissions to hospital over the years. Was destroying our family. Would be discharged back into our care and the merry go round would continue. She too discovered Ice which was the final straw that had her hit rock bottom. Found Catatonic on the streets and admitted for 9 months. It was this last admission that started to turn things around for her. Now on medication under a community treatment order, stable accommodation and NDIS support. We had the choice to go and collect her when she was catatonic or call an ambulance. The later choice made all the difference. In saying that, she still has addiction issues but I can no longer help her if she’s not willing to help herself. It’s painful to watch and heartbreaking to know that this is what has become of our girl but I can’t change it. We haven’t seen her for over three years as she won’t allow us to visit but the occasional phone call comes through these days. Sadly we had to see her hit rock bottom to finally get the help she needed. 

[Shaz51]

sending you lots of tender hugs @Krishna , @Belle5 ❤️

[Belle5]

Every time I think it's rick's bottom, things just get worse.  I see glimpses of her in there, and that gives me hope, but in reality, it is probably false hope. 

She was raped at 13 and 16 .... she hasn't dealt with it, and to be honest she has so many issues not even sure what to get her help with. As in do u tackle addiction,  MH and medication or trauma. Really everything but so far she hasn't been well enough or stable enough to do any of the above. 

Just at a loss...

Thank you for your response. X

[RiverSeal]

Hi @Belle5,

Thank you for sharing your story here on the Forums!

Caring for someone who is going through complex issues as you described is challenging and it sounds like you are so caring of her. It's really heartwarming to see you reaching out for support from the Forums community. 

Sometimes the best thing we can do is show we care and don't give up when things get worse or disheartened by it. It sounds like the trauma is very complex and she is perhaps misusing drugs or alcohol to cope. Have you taken steps to encourage her to seek support for her addictions as a starting point for her health? I know from my own experience that it's easier to work on MH with a clearer head but not always possible for everyone. Starting somewhere is the best option and acknowledging that there is no road map to recovery and you may circle back again.

Holding the light of hope for you right now!

Take care

RiverSeal

[Krishna]

@Shaz51   🙏❤️🌹

[Belle5]

She doesn't want to get off pot.

She wants it all fixed straight away. She has zero sticking power. 

[Gluhbirne]

Hi Belle5, I just wanted you to know that I'm there too: 19yo daughter with BPD, complex ptsd, major depressive disorder, addiction issues... in & out of hospital for past 3 years. Last year she was on meth only for 3 or 4 months but her experiences on it left her with (more) lasting trauma. Since then she switched back to benzodiazepines which she feels are even harder to get off... she's in hospital now & off the benzodiazepines but I think it was done too quickly and she's very low.

Yes I agree ice is scary and I really hope my daughter doesn't go back to that

I too don't know what to do and the trauma seems to compound itself: she's been exposed to a lot of things while in mental health wards & hospitals , and several of her friends have commited suicide.