Topic Tuesday // Is it okay to ignore Christmas? // 13 Dec. 7pm AEDT

[greenspace]

I might revisit this discussion on the day, to remind myself of this lovely supportive community 🙂

[Former-Member]

Heading off to pick my son up. Wishing everyone the best and hope you all find some moments of peace over Christmas 💜🤗

[SwearyCyn]

That sounds so great @Former-Member - I hope it's a great discussion with your kids and you can create a xmas that means something that you have some chance of enjoying and looking forward to. Good luck!

[Former-Member]

Thanks @SwearyCyn, 

love your name 😊  I can only hope it works out. All the best for you to work out yours better in the future too 💜🤗

[Shaz51]

I will give you a friendly callout @greenspace , @SwearyCyn, @Former-Member, @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

That's a great point about social media @SwearyCyn.  It can be really toxic to see pictures of 'happy' families in paper Christmas cracker hats seemingly having a wonderful time.  I'm a facebook and social media avoider all year but if I anticipated feeling particularly alone or distressed at Christmas I'd keep right away from it.  Those images never represent the whole truth.  Why are there never photos of red-faced, exhausted cooks staring at a huge pile of washing up?  What gets posted is such a selective narrow slice of the day.

No thanks!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member.....

The beach is 2.5 hours away - we are going on boxing day anyhow, but I'm not even looking forward to that as it will be with all my partners family minus the alcoholic to visit my partners uncle - I don't really want the kids to see me in my bikini - they said horrible things about my partner's teeth on his birthday (he has bad teeth from a medication he took as a child) and I'm afraid they will say I'm fat - I feel fat - I know realistically I'm not - my weight or size on my clothes labels do not indicate I am fat - but these kids can be so blunt - really mean - if I had kids I would not let them say what they said, but his sister didn't even say anything - I was the one left defending my partner & getting them to stop - I'm really depressed & xmas just makes it worse - the only thing I ever liked about xmas was presents & there is no money for them.... I think my mum is getting me something, but I don't want to see her as she is stressing me out even more - even causing panic attacks from talking to her on the phone & telling me I'm closed minded for not wanting to take her multi level marketing supplements (which I did research) & my sister is married to a man that scares me & my dad started a new family with a woman my sisters age & the have a 3 year old son - I have no contact with him... I don't think I am making sense at all I'm very sorry... I can't talk to my partner - I feel like he is saying snap out of it just using bigger fancier phrases to mask it... I can't cope & I dont know where to get help, because everyone you ask for help from ends up harming & hurting you more....

[YogaBear]

Well for me, of around 25 years as an adult, most of it is eating too much food and getting drunk, mostly to mask the torment! I say that in jest to some extent of course, but I wonder if we took the same scenarios and for example took off to the park, pressure might be relieved. Even better, taking yourself off to the park and catching up another time might give people enough energy to survive it!

[Kombibob]

for me as an emtionally mature adult who has spent 30 years researching anxiety and depression and 25 years Dancing with the them I have now moved beyond what is after all just a growing pain in lifes journey, but as an adult it is my job to nurture me, so anything that is not nurturing for me I simply do not engage with whatever it is, After all I AM the only expert on my life and it is my job to look after me. This has been my experience and it is what works for me, I cannot speak for anyone else for all are equal and all are unique!

Merry Christmas.

I do not ask that you believe me but please do your own research on "THe Gift of Depression"

[SwearyCyn]

lol, thank you @Former-Member, I find swearing a great coping mechanism 😉 I think the more we communicate with and educate those closest to us, the easier it will all get for everyone. My kids are 16 and 21 now, and they've grown up with a Mum with depression, and they just "get it" which takes the pressure off. I don't wish their childhood on anyone particularly, but I wish everyone could be more accepting and understanding like them, even if they have learned the hard way.