I am having trouble with my spouse. We have been together for 16 years and married for 11 years.
I had a very bad day at work the other day, and when I got home, he refused to do something that he had agreed to do weeks ago. I stated that he agreed to do this, and it was because it upsets our son when he had to be picked up early, so my husband was supposed to go pick up him and his sister while I took the other sister to church class. The conversation happened on the phone because he was at our nephew's house, which is our studio in the backyard. I lost it, like exploded. I yelled at him, hung up on him, and threw my phone. I slammed the door when I left to get all three of the kids.
I stayed away from the house after I dropped the two kids off with him and took our daughter to her church class. I did not want anyone; I did not want to be around anyone. I even turned off my location because I just had it.
While away and waiting for my daughter's church class to get over. I did not receive any messages or calls from my husband. When I got home after the church class, I turned my location back on. He left. After about two hours, I messaged him. I saw that he had turned off his location. He said that he was walking around in the park. When he got back him, he turned his location back on.
A couple of days go by with no major talking, only communicating when it was concerned the kids.
I just let it go, at least at that time.
I talked to him like normal, and he said so are we not going to talk about what happened. I told him that I had a very bad day that day. He told me that figured that and that I did three things that he hates. I said what things? He said, yelling at him, hanging up on him, and slamming the door. I told him not everything is about him. He ignored me.
I tried again to let it go.
I indicated that I wanted to be intimate. Nothing happened. I got frustrated. I did things by myself, nothing. I went and watched TV for about two hours in the middle of the night, again because I was frustrated. [edited by moderator] He got up to use the restroom, but still nothing.
The next morning, I got a text message indicating he knew what I did.
So, last night I indicated again that I wanted to be intimate, but nothing.
I am so over this. I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything. He still hasn't asked what was bad about that day, which started it all. If he had asked when he originally brought it up, maybe I wouldn't be so angry. But he is making it all about him, and it's not.
I don't know how to word it.... my body reacts to him, every time we are in the same room, my body wants him. But my mind says no because he is not validating me. I avoided him today, and I don't think he even knows that is what I had done.
Another thing, this has nothing to do with the above. He always wants me to talk. We went to our youngest daughter's music concert, and I told him to put his phone away. He said then are you going to talk to me. I did talk to him, I tried to have a conversation, and he did nothing to add to it. He just sits there. How is that fair? How come I am getting pressured to be the one to have the conversation when he is not giving anything in return?
Am I wrong? I am tired of being emotional exhausted with him. Sometimes I wonder, why are we even here?
Oh, he keeps bringing up couple counseling, but I have yet to see any attempts for us to actually go. I think he thinks I should be the one to figure it out. He is the one who keeps bringing it up, he should be the one to do it. Find the counselor, or whatever.
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