In regards to the ED, no I had no dealings with them previously, I have never gone into an ED for mental health before. The nurse I had was actually my old DBT teacher who I found was incredibly insensative when doing the course. My dog of 4 years died from lymphoma and the way I am about my dogs they are my kids and this happened right at the begining of DBT, I was greiving and in shock and in total despair. She told me off in the class once for using the DBT class as a greiving outlet - like WTF! Anyway she had always beena bitch and I remember her telling frequent ED people that they should not go to the ED as its only for emergencies and we are not classed that apparently. I actually made a formal complaint to the health services of sa and of course she got away with it because it was her word against mine but I hope it has made her think for the next time she treat a BPD person.
The only mental health support I had was GP and a pyschologist for a little while but then my partner made me stopped seeing her becuase this group he was in states some people are worse off for therapy??? My GP never really monitored me so after my meltdown at the ED I saw her and asked about having a pysch review for the purpose of getting my meds checked - which I did get done and found my anxiety meds were very very low and since they have been increased that has helped me a lot too. I too have tried lifeline and have had someone fall sleep on other end and someone while I was balling my eyes out put the phone down and walk away and come back - it just makes you feel all the more hopeless. I have come to the conclusion there is no mental health here and even those in mental health sector have discrimmination about BPD people as we are just known to be big kids having tantrums.
No not since I was a teenager, boy I remember once at home (my mums place) I was only about 17 and my partner and I were very volatile then and I remember having a huge meltdown when my mum wasnt home and we lived in units. I started hurling glasses (drinking glasses) at a brick wall that adjoined our wall and our neighbours. I dont think anyone was home as no one came out or they were too scared. But now no usually being in public prevents me from having a meltdown, dont know why but I guess I have my "face" on when around others and can hide it until I'm on my own. But I have had incidents of bad rage inpublic where I have lost it with people who I dont know due to their rudeness. Once and the most embarressing where I was having issues with our post office for work. Long story but the people were rude and purposely being difficult and the issue had gone on for over 12 months and was not rectified. When I spoke to the " manager" he actually said to me " now listen here girly" and boy was that a trigger and I just went off at him and told him that he couldnt organise a fart in an arsehole and some other things I wont repeat. Not my best moment and so unprofessional I still feel ashamed for that even though he was a total idiot (had a better word but wouldnt let the post go through) 
And yes you are right having a few months will heal the brain, I think thats what has happened with me or helped me that we have been reasonably calm. You cant think straight when you are always in a crisis mode.
Take care @Phoenix_Rising and dont hesitate to ask anything else if you think it will help.
Hi @utopia
I'm doing well thanks, getting through my struggles every day.
I find I can control things so it doesnt outwardly show like rage and feelings but I still get them but at a stage now that whilst controlling them I can then analyse and try to determine my thoughts and feelings are correct or faulty. Most of the time still faulty but I'm learning to go against what feels impulsively correct like reacting to things and then trying to mull it over in my brain. Depends on my day how much I have had to endure but I am still going take one step infront of th eother and managing all my life stesses. Feeling a bit better both mentally and physcially this week. Not sure if you saw the post (my memory is really bad) but I found out I am very Vit D defficient which has caused my nausea, fatigue, sugar cravings and possibly depression and cognitive thinking but since I started supplements I feel better physically and mentally - not so foggy so hopefully that will help.
Hope you are going well @utopia and thanks for asking
Hi @utopia
Not sure if it was you that mentioned but is this w/comp due to the stress and bullying you endured through work?
I hope all goes well for your hospital stay.