Having a focus

[The-red-centaur]

I was discharged from hospital yesterday. I'm doing ok. I feel like I have a lack of direction and focus however. 

I want reasons to keep going, reasons to get up every day, reasons to look forward to my future. Those concepts are strange for me however. I have bbeen suicidal for most of my life. I'm 31, and the only things I've really done in my life is survive. 

I was talking to one of the occupation therapists while I was in hospital, we talked about what do I hope for, what drives me, etc. I know a lot of my values, but my dreams seem to waver a lot. I often don't know what I actually want. 

There are some things I want to accomplish, but everything always seems to get in the way, I lose focus, and I no longer see the point of pursuing my dreams or life in general. 

There are some things I really want to do this year. 1-work towards a solo exhibition. 2- get back into running a market stall. 

I don't know how to begin or where focus on each of those things. I can't even focus on simple things thanks to adhd and autism.

How do I work towards having a better quality of life, and having a focus towards my dreams. I feel lost. 

[Ru-bee]

Really glad to hear that you're doing okay and starting to look forward @The-red-centaur 

It's really cool to see that you're making the time to consider what you're wanting out of this year, and setting some goals to help you get there.

There are so many ways people approach bigger goals like this, I guess it's all about finding what works for you. Like for me I know that I get overwhelmed easily with large goals and let my anxiety over them cause me to stop before I've even begun. So I break the big goals into smaller achievable tasks, like spend 15 or 20 minutes researching online, or putting down 5 or 10 ideas...just trying to focus on the task in front of me. It's funny, since I've started sewing I find that when I start a project making something new, I'll get a pattern and look at it and get a sense of dread and think it's all too hard and there's no way I can make this. But then I go to the instructions and just start at the first one, and then the next and the next, and suddenly I've made something that I honestly didn't think I could by just taking it one step at a time.

Maybe that can also help when you feel your motivation lull, if you can just push yourself to check off the small tasks until it starts to come back a little?

Do you feel like that resonates with you at all? Or what are the main challenges that tend to come up for you when working towards a goal?

Oh I'm also a big fan of the pomodoro method when I'm struggling to concentrate - having short periods and knowing I'll have a break lets me push all my random, off-topic thoughts to the side, because I know I can google them when I have my break in a few minutes. 

[Dimity]

Hello @The-red-centaur 

You've sometimes shared your artwork and you definitely have a gift. Having goals of an exhibition and a market stall sounds great.

Me, I struggle with goals and focus because of lack of confidence and being unable to visualise what I want, 

Is there an exhibition venue you'd really like to aim for? And do you have particular markets in mind? The steps to get there might be easier to work out than you think.

I think @Oaktree started a projects thread - or you could start one.

Good luck with it all.

[Marzey]

@The-red-centaur 

* What are your achievable goals for the next two days?

* What are your goals for the next week that want to get accomplished?

I try and keep aspirations and goals as realistic and simple as I can.

I also try and start small...then work my up through more complex goals as I go.

Even if it's just budgeting and paying bills on time, getting outta the house for a 15min walk...every ✅ helps😊

Keeping a journal was invaluable as I can see how far I've come.

Also if I couldn't achieve something, that's fine as I'd still try and turn that into a positive life lesson.

Once you get a bit of momentum up, you start to feel better, think more positive and generally be happier within yourself as you grow and develop on your journey through MH recovery.

Your belief in yourself gets stronger and your self-esteem also becomes healthier.

Some days are harder than others though, that's ok too.

You'll be kicking goals in no time😁

Surround yourself with as much positivity as possible...helps to reinforce it into our day to day thought process.

Well...simple goals other than becoming a millionaire, buying a tropical island and marrying a Prince Charming😉

I think you've got a really good outlook on life.

[Marzey]

Painting and art kept me going too.

It allows us to express ourselves in all sorts of amazing ways.