15-10-2025 11:59 AM
15-10-2025 11:59 AM
Hey @CavingDreamer I hear that you're not seeking answers or comfort, but I just wanted to stop by and say I hope you get some decent rest today. I'm glad that sharing like this is helpful, and that you feel safe enough to do that here with this community. And I'm glad that you're still choosing to press on and fight, even though it's tiring. You're right, it is your choice and I'm glad that you're choosing to keep going.
I'll be interested to hear how ECT goes for you, hopefully it's not too long of a wait. If you're ever curious or want to ask any others who have had that treatment there are quite a few members on here who are often open to chatting about their experiences.
Lastly, do you have any good gothic horror movie recs? I like to watch more horror in October as 'tis the season for spooky things and after watching Nosferatu I'm keen to explore more gothic horrors
18-10-2025 01:07 AM
18-10-2025 01:07 AM
@Ru-bee thank you for your positive response, appreciate you.
Right. Halloween. Keep forgetting.
I'll think on it and get back to you. Both the original and the US remake of REC are awesome, though the former is preferred. If you haven't seen it, "The Hidden Face" is a fantastic Spanish language film if you don't mind subtitles.
"Adrian, an orchestra conductor, is distraught after his girlfriend Belen leaves him. Things take a turn for the worse when his new live-in girlfriend Fabiana discovers a key and hears tapping sounds."
I have a fondness for found footage films and Creep is arguably one of the best.
"Aaron answers an online ad and drives to a stranger's house to film him for the day. The man wants to make a movie for his unborn child, but his requests become more bizarre as the day goes along."
Not strictly a horror movie, but an excellent watch is "Coherence"
"Eight friends at a dinner party experience a troubling chain of events due to the malevolent influence of a passing comet."
One of the all time greats, "Young Frankenstein". My students adored it, especially as watching it came about due to the fact that one of them was named "Igor".
Bipolar is a weird form of transport. Days ago I'm plunging into darkness, now of late I've been experiencing a relatively mild mania, bouncing off the walls with creativity, philosophical explorations and motivation. I cannot imagine that my issues are not biologically based.
The Cre... I've been taking - Dearest Moderator, for you the word in full I did not write...smile - is known in some for making dreams more vivid. With me, it is my very first experience of remembering them every time I wake-up, and their vividness is most definitely enhanced.
This morning I actually left the house without a moments thought. The light, the patterns and shapes, everything was brightly etched, the colors richly stark. Best day I've had in months, if not years.
Couldn't sleep last night, mind racing with thoughts, so I watched "Donnie Darko" for the first time. Astonishing movie. Enjoyed it a lot, however, I wouldn't call it great storytelling or acting. They are brilliant in their own way, but arguably noticing them implies a failure of purpose.
Imagine reading a story to a child, one they have heard a million times and will happily listen to a million times more. You ask why they like it so much and they reply with comments such as "It's the character development, the way the writer blends them into the narrative." Of course, children wouldn't speak that way, but the point is that such a reaction defies purpose. The aim is to immerse you to the point where reality has been left behind, and you find yourself caring deeply about what happens to the characters. Surely that is what great storytelling is about.
Those who would call "Donnie Darko" a classic, even a masterpiece, would be unlikely to consider "Galaxy Quest" worthy to stand in its shadow. Yet it accomplishes all those things and more for many people.
It has been a very good day, despite the severe vertigo due to my medication tapering going somewhat awry. Back on track now though. These holidays from depression, however short they might be, are a blessing I'm thankful for.
To be continued...
18-10-2025 09:40 PM
18-10-2025 09:40 PM
Hi @CavingDreamer , I'm glad you've had a good day and felt motivated and creative (even if its a mild mania - hope it doesnt become a problematic mania!). Im sorry I haven't yet responded to your previous post, I read it the other day between errands and was ponding what to respond - wanting to respect your wishes if you didn't want a reframing response (I did like what Rubee said though, as was wondering what i might be able to add). Been a crazy busy past 2 days.
There is a lot in your when-depressed thinking that I'd love to suggest some reframing or rebuttal to 😊 (in a supportive and encouraging way) but only if you would like that and find it helpful - so i will leave that option for you to tell me. 😊
Hope the vertigo goes away as your body system adjusts to the Medication That Shalt Not Be Named. fingers crossed it is soon for you.
03-11-2025 06:07 PM
03-11-2025 06:07 PM
Hello @AlwaysMyself,
Thanks for the response.
Sure, I'm open to reframing. Not so sure about rebuttal to be honest. If I don't feel safe I don't take it very well. I appreciate you asking first, very sensitive of you.
Past two days have been a setback. Depression is back. Been sleeping until Noon/2pm needing then to nap, followed by no motivation to do anything. Today I've been able to force myself to craft an email to my union and begin the attempt to gain entry to the government site to request a replacement for my Australian Citizenship Certificate. But fast losing my drive and after writing this will probably nap again.
Nearly made it out the door earlier to pick-up replacement for the wrong tool, so I can determine if the Toyota Camry engine is seized or not. Priority seeing as I will soon need to sell something before I start running out of savings due to being without income.
No word from the union in over two weeks now, so sent an email Cc to the union president today. I've asked for my case to be assigned to a different union representative.
By the time I'd done that, it was clear I wasn't going to make myself go out, so started on the government task. Also a priority, as I need the certificate to apply for refinancing as soon as I can.
I've informed my employer that I'm extending my unpaid leave to Dec 3rd, as well as asking for information needed to submit a workers compensation claim. That was a week ago and no reply, however, three days after sending that email I received a notification from SEEK that the same role I have at my school is now being advertised.
As of now, I'm still employed, so need to get that refinancing in as soon as I can just in case I end up losing my job. That missing certificate is the only remaining obstacle and a mess-up with the authenticator for the government site has me locked out until I get it reset.
Doesn't help that at the moment my ability to think clearly is compromised, but I'll get there eventually.
When I was in a better place last week, made a lot of progress. Have created a humongous list of things and projects that need to be accomplished. Next step is to have G5 (AI) organize it into flexible ADHD friendly schedule, based on things like priority, ongoing or not, and value of return for effort. Structure is sadly lacking in my life currently and I'll get nowhere fast without it.
Now it's nap time, because I'm sinking fast. That is if I can sleep in this heat. I've been thinking that as sleep is essential to my wellbeing, that might justify paying for an air-conditioner to be installed in my bedroom. The one in the living room stopped working about six years ago I think. Might look for a Mitsubishi, LG or Dakin on marketplace, then pay for someone to install it perhaps via AirTasker.  
Look forward to hearing from you when you have the opportunity to respond. 
CD
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