Lived Experience Forum

[Emelia8]

Hi there @Former-Member .  Sorry to read that you are suffering from a head cold.  They do make one feel very miserable.

I guess Brisbanites will hear this morning as to whether they will be able to open up for Easter or remain in lockdown for an extended period.  Really hoping of the former.

Little GeorGia had her vaccinations yesterday?  Holly is not due for her for another few months.  She had her teeth cleaned when she had her other surgery, so thats all done.  She had never had her teeth cleaned before.  Has GG?  I hope GG is back to her normal self today.  I know Holly is often a bit quiet after her vaccinations, but rebounds quickly.  Its over a week now since Holly had her blood tests, and still no call from the vet about results.  I just rang the vet to see if the results are in.  The receptionist said they had come in just this morning, but she wasnt sure if the vet had seen them as yet.  So he will ring me some time this afternoon.

I hope both you and your Georgia are feeling better today.  Do you have any plans for Easter?  Do you go to church, perhaps catch up with some other parishoners?

Emelia 💞🤗

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Emelia8 💙
No, I am mostly self isolating for 14days after last Friday visit from high risk Brisbane friend who was at an exposed venue. Plus I have sus symptoms (runny blocked nose, headaches, sweats).
My son's been snappy with me, I've concluded we are on different planets emotionally, perceptions and loyalties. It's sad. We kissed my birthday and now working through Easter he says with frustration. But for all I know he's got visitors I'm not allowed to know about. Like when he went to my nephew's wedding and was told not to tell me. Or his dad's side of the family. I'm not comfortable around any of them due to past mistakes, tensions, and the shame of my two MH admissions and overweight. Just driftinf apart, I don't know them anymore and there's no red carpet rolling out lol = invitations.. If I AM the toxic entiry, and they're all perfect, then I'm doing everyone a favour hiding away. Just hard on my son, and lonely. He gets angry with himself (and me) if he feels tawn or critised, so I just have to shut up and put up. Right now, even though I've decided to isolate
SI has been strong.

[Emelia8]

Oh I see @Former-Member ... one of the self isolation situations for covid.  Although you do have the symptoms of covid that we are all told to look out for, its likely you dont have it.  Of course if your Brisbane friend is subsequently diagnosed with it, it will probably be necessary for you to get tested as well.  But I totally understand your reluctance to wait in line for such a long time to get the test.  I hope you are feeling better than you were yesterday by now anyway.  Fingers crossed.

I'm sorry your Son has been snappy with you, and I agree that men and women are from different planets!  Whats that book?  Men are from Mars and women are from Venus I think it is.  So you're right about that!

Oh EOR ... please never think of yourself as being the toxic one.  I have never ever seen any evidence of that being the case.  In fact quite the opposite.  Its true that we all have our imperfections.  And I mean everyone ... gee, even me ... and thats hard to admit.  LOL.  🤣  But you should not be depriving others of the pleasure of your beautiful company.

I note that yesterday you mentioned that your SI had been strong.  Do you have your thoughts under better control today I wonder?

I got my little Holly's test results back when the vet rang me late yesterday afternoon.  The tests confirmed that she has Cushings disease, which explains the high reading of the liver enzymes a couple of weeks ago.  I guess its good that it wasnt something worse.  The vet said "its actually good news", because it could have been something much worse.  We will have to try to manage the Cushings disease symptoms now.  Its a malfunction of the adrenal gland where it produces too much cortisol.  Its something that humans get also.  Unfortunately the recommended medications are expensive, have nasty side effects and she would need regular monitoring and retesting.  As her symptoms are not overly bad right now, I have decided to just monitor closely and see how she goes.  I will look into natural remedies which may help if things get worse for her.

Big hug for you beautiful lady, and a cuddle for little GeorGia.  And a happy easter to you too.

Emelia 💞

[Former-Member]

Hi #Emelia8 and thank you.
I'm not good. Had upset Thursday (connected to my siblings of cause) and I donno, I cried for a day, resisted powerful SI (to do it yesterday, Good Friday :face_with_rolling_eyes:visuals and all). Kinda scares me that one day I won't think to resist or find things to distract. But did yesterday...
Actually putting fav songs to USB to have sittin, there plugged in cd player just waiting to be turned on. So much easier than fiddling with cds... and Better than the tv noise of late (I tend to have it on for company)... so much rubbish filling our brains from tv... more than we're aware of I fear... and the news lately😩...  such a trigger for me... not just the sexual crimes but the way high profile people treat each other...
No, it's better to have this music I like on the USB ready to go... Actually christined a voice recorder yesterday (a tiny USB stick i purchased online some time ago)... actually figured out how to use it, to record one of my fav songs from YouTube (divice to divice) and got a buzz how well it turned out. Technology has come such a long way. Quite the distraction... Running away I know 😞 but i do trying also to acknowledge my inner turmoil pain (that sometimes rises up to smash me in the face, well, I try remember to stop what I'm doing, do the breathing exercises and connect with / acknowledge that horrible pain shaking me from the core... and also try to sit in silence a while too... deep breaths... stop running... its hard. (But probably helps lower my blood pressure if nothing else lol).
Gosh, it's 3AM and really quiet but really windy outside. Im So thankful for my four walls and soft bed.
Betta go xox

[Emelia8]

I'm really glad and relieved @Former-Member that you have been able to resist those powerful urges of SI and SH.  

Sounds like a great idea to put all your favourite songs onto a USB, ready to play whenever you need some solace.  I do agree that there is a lot of rubbish on tele, and unfortunately there is rarely any good news on the news these days.  And yeah, unfortunately many news items are highly triggering for many of us.  I'm sorry its all so very hard EOR.

I too am mighty thankful that you have four walls, a soft comfy bed and a sweet little dog there to comfort you.

Thinking of you sweet EOR.

Emelia 💞🤗

[Zoe7]

Just sending you some love @Former-Member 

[Eve7]

@Former-Member 

💜💕💜