Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope    

Thank you for sharing, being able to articulate our feelings is a positive in itself and important to do so even though today you have unshed tears.

You mentioned that for various reasons you are not able to keep a gratitude diary as such but here on the forums you have posted things that you are grateful for, and I thank you for that too.

One thing I am grateful for, that despite the huge challenges you have in the setting of undiagnosed mental illness, you are a wonderful support here on the forum and I have certainly valued your advice and have utilised relevant tips that you have given.

[Shaz51]

I agree with @Former-Member 

@Faith-and-Hope  you are a wonderful support here on the forum and I have certainly valued your advice and have utilised relevant tips that you have given me over the years

people do make a big difference in how you feel too @Former-Member 

as Mr shaz`s family , MIL and SIL`S are all soo negative , that since I have married mr shaz he does not like to spend much tim with his mum or sisters -- which is sad , but i totally understand why

as my mum and our house has more postive vibes and mr shaz loves it

my extented family members can speak too quickly before thinking

I still smile at my step children when we ( mr shaz and I) will be encouraging , supporting them in life

 like my step S3 said (WOW , his real mum knocked him down with words  )

[Former-Member]

Shifting our focus can include thinking before we speak @Shaz51 .  Do you keep a gratitude journal?

[Shaz51]

Do you keep a gratitude journal? --- no @Former-Member , I have thought of doing one

one of my customers is 40 and she had 2 sons and she is marrying a man who has 2 sons , and we clean their house twice a week

well she was showing me her Gratitude Journal and it has interesting tips and hints

[Ali11]

Thank you for sharing that infographic about negative thinking @Former-Member. Sometimes it just takes an extra minute or two to get out of that negative headspace and to reframe your thoughts, so you aren't reacting to what could be an imagined scenario. What do you think? Have you got a tip to help in that instance? 

[Shaz51]

that is a good question @Ali11 

like my mum instilled in me "that this will pass "

also when my mind says "Why Me " , I answer with "why not me"

[Ali11]

Why me is always the first response isn't it @Shaz51? Taking that extra time means that you can really think through how your reaction should be. 

[Former-Member]

The best case scenario rarely comes to my mind first @Ali11 , imagining the worst case scenario and all sorts of equally distressing alternatives was one of the things that contributed to carer stress for me. 

To help combat this type of thinking, looking at the facts and asking questions that may help ameliorate the situation is often helpful.  By deliberately changing my focus and asking what could go right and what steps can be taken to move toward that has also helped change my mindset.  

[Ali11]

Those are some great tips @Former-Member, how long did you have to practice this before it came naturally? I think we as humans are geared more to jump to the worst case (fight or flight response right?).  

[Former-Member]

It doesn't come naturally @Ali11 

It is intentional.