Lived Experience Forum

[HenryX]

Hello @Dimity and @Former-Member , @Last-Lament  

A friend tagged me in your thread, because they know that I face the same issue as you at the moment. The consideration of possible down-sizing and the wish not to have the responsibility of selection and clearing passed to any one else, should anything occur to precipitate such a requirement. Reading through your post, your situation sounds very similar to my own. I recall you having referred in previous posts, some time ago, to various items that are precious or significant to you, but you were unsure of the same interest being shared by others who may follow. I can, likewise connect with those thoughts and situation.

Maybe we can pace each other in the project, if that appeals to you. Now that I have posted in your thread, I will receive notifications and be able to connnect from time to time.

With My Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Dimity]

Thanks @Last-Lament , such good suggestions. Yes there's a grieving for the lost associations and missed opportunities. That's why I like Marie Kondo's animist approach of appreciating culled items and thanking them, celebrating their service. I've regretted things lost long ago in family moves, and the abandoned musical instruments, so plan to do this slowly and carefully.

@HenryX I welcome your suggestion that we could pace each other. I recently came across a Swedish idea of passing on treasures in our own lifetimes to those we've consulted with - "Swedish death cleaning".  Especially suitable for those who are considering downsizing in retirement, and a way of transmitting the stories around the things we're passing on. 

@Former-Member I agree about repurposing things in the community.  In Melbourne we have Brotherhood Books and a couple of annual book fairs for charity. I might find a quilter for the fabric, I can't thread needles these days.

It's nearly 2am, well past time for bed. Thankyou all for your encouragement. 

Cheers

Dimity

[Last-Lament]

@Dimity  I really enjoyed Marie Kondo's approach and using it makes sense to me. I was wary of suggesting the concept of appreciating, celebrating and thanking the item for their place in your world because of negative reactions to the idea in the past when I've mentioned it. I'm glad it resonates with you as an effective method.

Likewise with the Swedish death cleaning concept, I know that this is what I am doing, and am doing my best to do it as well as I can. Over the past ten years or so I have managed to pass on many treasures to those who  valued them, sad in many ways, but uplifting in other ways as they live on in someone else's life. 

Regarding books, some libraries accept good second hand books for their annual book sales, often done through a charity. Sometimes prisons accept books for their residents libraries, I gave many books to a local prison years ago, not sure if prisons generally still accept them, but I can't see why they wouldn't. As always, remove any indentification from each book before gifting them. 

I read somewhere of a women's prison where residents were being taught sewing, I think it was in Victoria, perhaps your fabric might be welcome there? I've done some sewing for Sewing for Charity Australia and know they appreciate donations of fabric, each state has their own centres, an internet search would find a centre in your state. I currently have a box I'm putting items in for a local Women's Shed. It's taking time to get everything into one place, it's amazing the places I've stored some things, talk about creative use of space!

Patterns for children's clothing, Enid Gilchrist drafting books, the sewing/ knitting/ crochet/ craft/ things I know I shall never use again are going in there for the leader to pick up someday soon. I'm finding it difficult to let go of my roll of knitting needles that I've gathered over many years, mostly from thrift stores. I don't knit anymore, too painful, and I have another interchangable corded set of needles if I want to anyway, but I feel like I'd be letting them down if I were to let them go. sigh.

I can't yet consider moving on the Tatting and Embroidery threads even though my ability to hold a sewing needle and embroider well has passed on by. I can still tatt, and I have 'ideas' for the embroidery threads, but they are slow to be implemented as yet. 

Today is shopping delivery day, so no plans for sorting until next week when things will be somewhat calmer than they have been. 

I agree, slowly and carefully is certainly a good plan. Look forward to hearing about what you choose to do.

[Dimity]

Hi @Last-Lament @HenryX and anyone reading

I made a small start with the garden, pruning back to clear pathways. Clearing access to stuff in the spare room. Sorting papers building up on the kitchen table (and reviewing repetitive to-do lists). Rearranging  my wardrobe.

Surveying and taking stock rather than making major inroads. Drafting a weekly schedule and realising how little I've been doing, I've really let things slide. I haven't felt well but need to rebuild my health and stamina. Having a schedule will be aspirational and something to measure up against. Hopefully I'll see progress between therapy sessions.

[Last-Lament]

Well thought out management for moving forward @Dimity . The small things allow for us to see the next steps we might want to take, or at least it does for me. 

I've managed a couple of really small tasks while recovering from energy expended on last weeks' stressful ventures; divided a tiny pot of massed potted palm trees into 2 pots so I can move one into another room. They sit in no longer used coffee mugs (an idea I saw on a website somewhere), so they really are quite small. 

Today I tackled the garage store cupboard - only half of it, and put all the 'like' items together where they are easily seen. Didn't find as much to get rid of as I thought I would, it was mainly really untidy, but I know there will be things to move on when I do the other side! 

It's slow going, but there's a sense of lessening in the weight of the feelings around needing to be doing more, wasting less, and that sort of stuff. 

I'm watching Marie Kondo's "Sparking Joy" on Netflix every couple of days too, and that's been a bit motivating for me to keep going. 

Hopefully, both you and @HenryX , and anyone else reading along, are able to continue with whatever progress you decide you want to make. 

[HenryX]

Hello @Dimity and @Last-Lament ,

Pleased that you are, at least, progressing in some ways @Dimity . Your write-up of the 5 Sept closely parallels my own, in both application and feelings. I did get out, three days ago, on my bicycle for some exercise which I think may be helpful in approaching the tasks that I have on hand. A tyre puncture has delayed return to that activity. Also, a visit by daughter has also been a very pleasant distraction from the need to make progress into clearing up and sorting. When it's all said and done, though, my efforts will save her the problem of having to do so, which is most certainly my wish. She should receive everything prepared in tidy and orderly state

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Dimity]

Hello @HenryX @Last-Lament 

Hope you're doing OK. I was distracted for a few days by medical stuff, now hopefully sorted. I agree with you @HenryX that a bit of outside exercise improves the spirits and motivation. 

Well done on repotting the palms @Last-Lament I have one that needs potting on and liquid fertiliser  as its colour isn't healthy. Your work in the garage reminds me I can sort pots and other garden gear in the carport.

My sister stayed overnight and I was so pleased I'd already made some inroads. Tomorrow I plan to start on some files in boxes and cabinets, then tackle refiling recent receipts and accounts when I've made the space. 

I don't have Netflix but saw an extract on Google re Marie Kondo tackling wardrobes. I need to reconsider mine as I'd kept working clothes separate from casual and no longer have that need. There's probably quite a few items I can gift to an op shop.

I think I'll set aside my large coffee table as a work space to pace and limit my indoor sorting to achievable batches that I can set a boundary around. It will also force the decision to work through and deal with each item so I can move on.

I hope you can fix or replace your bike tyre soon @HenryX so you can enjoy the Spring weather. And keep up the good work @Last-Lament .

Cheers

Dimity

[pinklollipop15]

Hi

I have done this method before. I certainly found relief in getting rid of the clutter. I had many uni papers and just took photos of things I may want in the future. It sounds really wonderful your approach to it and I'm sure you will get there with your positive attitude. I understand completely the dilemma of getting rid of stuff and I will follow your journey via this thread! Go you!

Have a wonderful day!

[Dimity]

Thanks for your encouragement @pinklollipop15 . It's good to hear of your success. It's definitely a challenge.. .  

[Last-Lament]

Taking photos of things for memories and reference is a good idea @pinklollipop15 . I haven't been big on digital photography as a memory keeper, I did use digital images as a teaching tool, but I may shift my perspective on that, thank you for the idea. I had massive numbers of printed photos, in a box and in albums, that due to circumstances have been lost, and there's significant emotional stuff attached to that, needless to say. I like that idea, I think I can use it. 

I thought I should maybe clarify @Dimity  @HenryX , that initially my goal was to have all the sorting done throughout the previous 12 months, so that in case the rental lease was not able to be renewed I wouldn't have to do it all in one go. While I managed to clear a significant amount, there's still heaps to do, but, the lease has been renewed, so I can slow down a little as I recognise how life has altered for me, and take stock of what life in the future may look like for me. 

Potential helpful idea: I get everything delivered, be it by AusPost, Courier, Supermarkets, Local Stores, I keep the bags and boxes things come in (in the garage) and use the boxes and bags in my organisation of sorting of items. Helps to keep like with like, especially if I haven't yet decided where they will live; and helps to delineate between what is being kept or being moved on. Also good to have close to hand to throw actual rubbish into rather than drop it on the floor for later. I tidy as I go to try to reduce any extra work than there already is.

Today I am absolutely exhausted from finishing the laundry cupboard in the garage. Sorted one half shelf at a time, having done the other half shelf the day before. Moved the fold up table to make it easier to put things on; take out of cupboard, turn, put on table, assess. Had the vacuum cleaner on hand to scoop up the dust and debris. Sorted through the tool box, it's much lighter and much more organised now that what was in there has it's own home or has been moved on. The miscellaneous stuff is now in a clear plastic box, with a label of everything that is in there stuck on the front for easy visibility. 

The boxes of jam jars is always a frightening task - concrete floor & glass are the stuff of some of my nightmares. While I save jars for storing my jams and preserves when I make them, there's only so many jars I'm likely to use these days, so culling was in order, and an assessment of lid quality too. I sat down for that, and for much of the tool sorting. 

The upshot is, that the cupboard now has unfilled space, and all the unwanted/unable to be passed on, went in the relevant bins and is already gone in today's rubbish removal. It's been a year in the 'wanting to do' phase, and it took in the under laundry sink cupboard where I store the garden stuffs, plus the moveable set of laundry shelves that hold the in-use washing detergents etc. So. Much. Tidier.

There are a few things sitting on the other foldaway table that now need to have new homes found for them, but that is a job for another day.

Today is recovery as my back is complaining of too much standing and lifting and it was quite emotional going through the once loved, well used, and no longer relevent things. 

I trust you are all finding your own ways through what ever aspects of your lives you are wishing to get through or improve upon.