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14-01-2017 12:49 PM
14-01-2017 12:49 PM
Daughter lying driving me crazy
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15-01-2017 12:20 AM
15-01-2017 12:20 AM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
Rather than question her medical condition - why not start a conversation about how there were times when you couldn't cope with parenting & how we all struggle with this from time to time. Then maybe ask her how she's coping with an active preschooler.
This might allow her to feel supported enough to open up and say how she's feeling.
She may also feel depressed and therefore not coping.
There are many illnesses around that take years and years for a doctor to diagnose. My mum found this with her chronic fatigue and fibro myalgia 25 years ago. Doctors told her back then, that it didn't exist. But we now know better.
But I think talking with your daughter about how hard parenting can be & maybe talking openly about mental health - like depression - might help. I do hope so.
Just remember, that looking after yourself is important. So if she's asking you to do more babysitting than you can cope with - be honest and let her know.
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23-01-2017 04:34 PM
23-01-2017 04:34 PM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
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24-01-2017 09:40 AM
24-01-2017 09:40 AM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
Hello @Bridgetjones @pip @utopia
It is very difficult as a parent to hear that our children even when adults talking about so many things that are wrong with them.
I personally believe that regardless of whether the illnesses are real or not there is an issue and they are reaching out for help.
I have lived through abusive relationships and self-esteem hits rock bottom. Also unless you have visible scars people tend to disregard any claims of abuse. There is also the other side the person who has stayed after abuse and continued being abused feels shame, embarrassment no matter how strong and intelligent they are. The abuser, manipulator is very clever and very good at hiding all of this from the outside world. It is very hard for anyone to pick up on what is going on.
Possibly your daughter is trying to reach out but is ashamed because she found herself in this situation.
Could you suggest a joint appointment with a doctor and see what your daughter discusses with the doctor. Let your daughter know that you are concerned that she is feeling unwell and are willing to be there for her. She may be more honest in exactly what is going on.
This might not be the case.
I wish you both luck. I can only say that having lived through abusive relationships it takes a very long time to raise self-esteem.
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24-01-2017 09:55 AM
24-01-2017 09:55 AM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
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24-01-2017 10:04 AM
24-01-2017 10:04 AM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
Sounds like there is something wrong in my opinion. Pain is an easier claim than something like a mental disorder. Take her to a psychiatrist if you can afford it.
If you can't get her to run through the DASS 21. You can use the marking key to see if shes in mental distress.
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25-01-2017 12:11 PM
25-01-2017 12:11 PM
Re: Daughter lying driving me crazy
hello @Bridgetjones @pip
Yes Pip, I suffered PTSD for quite some time. Now diagnosed as anxiety. Not sure when the line is crossed and why the title changes. That is medical jargon.
Escaping an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things a person can do. The manipulator plays so cunningly, carefully, covering tracks, never the one to blame, never saying sorry, encouraging their prey to feel guilty, morose, ashamed.Then if the prey shows any sign of strength or reaching out to others, they are quickly reeled back in by promises and loving, adoring looks and words. All of this behind closed door.
Those of us who manage to eventually escape, come out emotionally battered, bruised, humiliated, ashamed, embarrassed, helpless devoid of all self-respect. It doesnt take much to trigger PTSD.
your daughter having physical symptoms may believe that they are real, psycial illness is acceptable in society therefore she can feel that she can get some much need attention and hopefully her gp is astute enough to thoroughly examine her and ask questions. realising need for a psychologist specialised in this area.
I hope that this is not too confonting for you to read. It is very painful and sadly happening far too much all around us.
If this is not the case, I would be relieved that she has not been through this. she clearly is trying to reach out for help though.
Please dont think that you have done anything wrong, you are probably throwing your hands up in the air, worrying about her and feeling helpless. Let the doctors guide you both.
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25-01-2017 07:40 PM
25-01-2017 07:40 PM