Lived Experience Forum

[universepocket]

Hi, I hate to start with the diagnosis but I think it's best to get it out of the way. No one really knows whats wrong with me, I was seeing a psychiatrist who first diagnosed me with bipolar 1 but that moved to schizophrenia. Then I moved towns and in his referal notes he basically denied ever diagnosing me at all, despite putting me on VERY large amounts of medication. Now, still heavily medicated my therapists find me extremely hard to diagnose. My case is very complex and it would take years to write so I'll spare you the details. I'm on medication, I'm in therapy, and I'm absolutely tearing at the seems. Where do I go from here? Every one is trying their best to help me but it just feels like it's not enough. I try to pretend and fake it but I'm really struggling to keep myself going now. This whole time I've been working so hard and now, I just can't anymore. What do I do to get help?

[esprit]

Don't know if this will help but for me once I accepted that there was no magic bullet to fix everything I accepted it and just tried to manage my symptoms. Know your strengths as well as your weakness. I wish you all the best and dearly hope you will fight your way through. Xx

[Former-Member]

Hi @universepocket

Im so sorry that you're struggling so much at the moment. things sound overwhelming and confusing. Is there anyway that you can access more support? Its so hard to be honest with how much we are struggling at times. Could you find a way to let them know just how hard it is? write it down, list the symptoms that are most worrying you and how they are affecting your functioning?

I dont know if it helps you at all to hear of others and similar/different situations.. but I've been feeling so flat and low lately, my head is convinced that i'm just too broken, too hard to help and that things arent going to get better... my psychologist tells me thats just the illness talking that it is possible to get better etc but i've been working so hard for so long now that i feel lost. Im taking things one day at a time as much as i can. and im trying to be kinder to myself and let myself have a break. I wish the 'experts' had the answers but they really don't always, (not that they're not helpful!). 

I'm sorry that your last psychiatrist has left you in such a confusing place... though it speaks volumes that he was treating you with certain meds... I have had so many diagnoses this year that started to upset me so much and i was questioning myself so much that i just went back to looking at my most frustrating, or disabling symptoms and jsut working on those rather than looking at myself in this whole world of diagnosis (that two different psychiatrists and gps and psychologists don't entirely agree on anyway!). 

here listening,

lj