Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Gosh @Sahara, I so relate to this, feeling unappreciated, criticised, stabbed in the back, abandoned, disappointed, alone, ashamed and angry... Yep. I've started groups that have fallen apart for different reasons. We really need to build our own support network as a back up when in leadership. The best leaders I on w are the phlegmatic - quiet, strong, steady type that involve others in decision process and empower all on equal plane. But no matter what ya do there's always someone who thinks it hey can do it better. Maybe ask their annoying person to take over while you have a break. See what she says. Please don't give up giving though, that would be such a loss. A door will open I. An area that will require less of you and peers who respect each other toward a common goal. Don't shut the door completely, just pull back a little, regroup. xox

[Sahara]

Thanks @Norma, @Former-Member and @Former-Member,

sorry I have been away from Sane forums for a few days and did not realize there were more posts here! Thank you all.

And welcome to @Norma, as I see you are new here. I hope you find the forums to be helpful. Feel free to write whatever you like and share your experiences. 

Since the episode with the woman who criticized us, I am feeling better. I've had a chance to talk to two significant people who manage other community groups and they have been very understanding and have experienced similar hassles to me. This is very reassuring. 

The Critical Woman (I'll call her CW from now on) bothered me because I thought her criticism came out of the blue. She also 'announced' her resignation from a supporting role within our group, to my total surprise, without tipping me off first, at a meeting. I felt betrayed, because prior to this, she had come over to my house and I'd baked her homemade biscuits and had tea with her and she seemed happy with our group. I really wish she had confided in me first, if she were going to publically criticize our group at a meeting. 

After the meeting, I did try and talk to her... to actually share my own frustrations with the group (which are different frustrations to hers) but she changed the subject and didn't want to talk about it! This was frustrating. I really feel that under the circumstances, she should withdraw from the group completely, but I have no real power to make her do that... and I'm not the type to outright reject someone, anyway. 

Today, I have the chance to go in and talk to her, as she is volunteering by herself today. I doubt I will do it.... I believe she will just shut me down, again. 

I'm sorry, this must all seem very petty to everyone else! I sound like a cry-baby.

I think I am sensitive to criticism because my Mum always criticized me!

The one thing I'm getting from this whole experience I guess, is the ability to persevere, to learn to tolerate uncertain situations and to tolerate people and their differences. I've learning to plow on, regardless of criticism, adapt and re-think things.