Lived Experience Forum

[florencefifty]

I thought not having a job was stressful. Looking for a new job is frustrating every time. I’ve done it three times now, it’s officially a pattern.

I was looking for a job, and within one week, I got a verbal offer. I just had to get the reference checks done. Unfortunately, though, I don’t have any references. 

My first job, I worked in retail. Firstly, it’s a little weird asking your manager from retail to do a reference for you for the corporate world. And secondly, a lot of the managers I had no longer worked there. 

In essence, I’ve only had one manager in my life. She, from the very first day, didn’t like me and she gave me a negative reference last time I asked her to do one for me. If she gave me a neutral reference, I would have been working at a big company for months now, but she decided she wanted to rant. 

I asked both of my managers from my most recent job to write a reference for me. One of them declined and the other one left the company and I don’t know her personal e-mail.

I e-mailed one of my colleagues to ask her to do a reference for me. This is the weird thing. She was super cool, and I started the e-mail with “hi, I miss you guys so much, I hope you and the team are doing well…” and her reply was super formal. She said she had recently been promoted, and so she doesn’t have time, and it’s really a job for my manager anyway, rather than a colleague. 

GAH, why do people have to be so freaking honest?!

That’s a joke, I understand… 

In the end, I had to provide two fake references, my brother-in-law and my sister. (SHHHH….) I’ve learned my lesson, I guess. When I leave a job, I should collect references, so I have people’s details.

I have gotten a number of other calls from companies that said they are interested… but so many of them have at least one thing wrong with them.

One of the companies is in the health insurance/life insurance sector, and the job sounded OK and I was a good personality fit, but they said it was really emotionally demanding. She said that I am going to have some abusive customers from time-to-time, and even customers calling in expressing suicidal thoughts. She made it sound like I would have to deal with people at a crisis point.

With one of the companies, the money’s good, the company is well-known. The job is very rewarding, but it is very stressful, and you basically have to sign your soul over… you have to work Saturday and Sunday, public holidays and late night/early morning shifts, as well as at least one Christmas every three years… ouch.

Another job sounds perfect. It’s with a GIANT company and I’ve got an interview at their head office next week. The only thing is, it doesn’t start for two months.

And I’ll be honest, I wish I had my own money, like tomorrow.

We have plenty of savings and two incomes, but it sucks. Nothing can make time go faster…

[Elle1]

Hi @florencefifty 

I totally understand your frustration. I was out of work for years due to my mental health, so getting back on the work wagon had its challenges. I've had a couple of contracts (6 months) since then and now have been offered my dream job for 18 months with a reputable organisation. 🙂

In your situation I'd take anything in the field you're looking for just to get a foot in the door. From there you can seek out a new reference for future endeavours and kick-start your career.

Finding your dream job is more of a planned trip than instant gratification. Each step brings you closer to what you want, and in some cases takes you on a completely different path as it did for me.

While you work and earn, you can still look around for advancement/more appropriate opportunities. It's a win-win situation. Also, working in the corporate world you hear things about who's hiring etc and have the advantage of possessing current experience without the desperation of unemployment.

I really hope things work out for you Florence. 

Kind thoughts,

Elle