Lived Experience Forum

[Pebbles]

Hi @TL2017

Wanted to check in with you and let you know that you're being thought of.

How are you?

Best Wishes,

Pebbles 🙂

[pip]

Hi @TL2017. Having an active 2 year old, plus 4 month old would make you incredibly tired and stressed out. It's quite on the cards you are overtired from the stress of caring for these children. This is no reflection on you as a mum, I take my hat off to the mothers of 'yesterday' who seemed to have more than four children and appeared to 'breeze' through everyday tasks. I guess with depression, the mind does tend to go into overdrive when we care for children/spouses/ourselves etc. Medication can help ease the tension, but the side-effects can cause problems too. Perhaps have a talk with your G.P, plus PANDA regarding side-effects and that may help relax you more. Perhaps too the questions you're being asked, you may not consider that important, so your mind tends to 'close down' and you possibly remember at a later date. I had PND with my daughter and I remember stressing over being advised to take some time out for 'me'. Be kind to yourself, your children need you, so do you.

[Appleblossom]

I had 2 babies 16 nonths apart.

I was not medicated at all nor diagnosed with major depression til the youngest was 2.  Though I did see psychiatrists. 

Early in motherhood a female pdoc suggest I make lists .. which I did and have meant that we have survived our family dramas .. even if the cosy family togetherness is lacking despite my best efforts.

Through all that time .. I did not have time to watch TV or see the news .. or if I plopped down in front of it .. my mind was in overdrive and I could never take anything in .. 

From my observations .. mothers in years gone past .. had a different level of expectation upon them .. so in our child focussed world I dont believe we can really compare between generations .. the standards of food prep, hygeine, quality attention and medical attention are all different .. to the feted days of nuclear families of 5 or 7 or 9 children etc. We have a few more gadgets .. but .. added technological complexity can add strain .. not always relieve it.

the main thing is that we are expected and prgrammed to give our all.

Then my nanna's story is that she had twins 10 months after her 1st born .. ouch .. so 3 under 2.

2 babies that close together mean .. very very very busy .. so busy that memory is effected .. except memorable events ..

but I didnt have meds .. take care of you too

..and keep talking about the issues with medical and support people.

take care.

[pip]

@Appleblossom. While I tend to basically agree with your statement about how things have changed between child-raising as it was, (yesterday) as opposed to todays' technology. Todays' kids have no idea how to self entertain. Many of todays' mothers seem busier with professional lives. TL2017, is trying hard to raise her kids and be a loving, caring mum. Having two young children today means 24/7 focus on them instead of being allowed time out. TL2017 needs to recharge and refocus on herself and not feel guilty for it. Her main problem is trying to remember. She has so much on her plate, she is worn out emotionally and has forgotten her own needs. I seldom watched t.v, I seemed to spend most of the time playing games with my two and just being with them. I would write down important things, but forgot stuff like ringing my mum, ringing my kids g'mother, visiting people. Shopping was a nightmare and boring, so I would just dash to get the basics. Take heart TL2017, you will survive and your kids will start to grow and become independent. Your mind will start to refocus and clear as you start relaxing and stop trying to remember things that are not so important. I'm sure you remember the important things, and that's what you should try to focus on. I'm not trying to make light of how you are feeling, that is not my intention. I'm just letting you know we mothers all experience similar 'forgetfulness' when we are run off our feet.