Lived Experience Forum

[Miss_S]

I bite my tongue until it bleeds and sometimes i bite a hole in my tongue or cheeks/lips. I do this very regularly and it hurts and stings badly to eat. I like the pain it causes and i also hate the pain usually the next day. I cant stop myself from this. Nothing works. Also i like to peel the skin off the bottoms of my feet until it hurts to walk. I have never really told anyone about this. Does anyone have any idea why i do this? I have done this since i was a child. I would show my sister my tongue after i have bitten it and its bled. I like to bite my tongue until it bleeds and hurts. 😞 i also pick my nails so theres hardly any nail left. 😞

[Former-Member]

Hey @Miss_S,

Great to see you on the forums tonight. 

These sorts of self-harming behaviours (skin & nail picking, biting) often start in childhood as a response to stress or anxiety. They are distracting from the unpleasant emotions and a form of self -soothing or coping (perhaps not the best strategy if they cause injury). They are quite primal responses like rocking, thumb sucking, rubbing a blanket that you can see in very young children.

It is possible to work with a counsellor/therapist on changing and replacing these behaviours with something more acceptable over time. It takes conscious work and practice, but it can be changed. Do you have a counsellor at the moment? If not, your GP can refer you. I would recommend you look for someone who specialises in anxiety/trauma disorders.

For now, try to observe when these coping behaviours are triggered / worse. Think of some other intense physical experiences you could try which may serve the same purpose e.g. very warm/cold showers, vigorous exercise, warhead lollies (sour intense taste), snapping a hairband on your wrist quite hard. Don't know if any of these can work for you but they have helped other clients of mine to reduce self-harming behaviours. You might think of better alternatives for you.

Hope this helps you a bit with the issue. Others on the forum will have their wisdom to share on this topic.

kind regards,

Frog

[Alone]

Squeezing an icecube is one way that has been suggested to me.  There are other ways of causing (good) pain without harming yourself, but its probably against the sites terms of service for me to mention them 🙂

I agree with the above post, it would help to talk to a professional but know that you're not alone Miss_S. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Miss_S

I'm sorry to hear that you find it difficult to stop the self harming. I have some difficulties with that as well, different methods but... I have been trying to replace with snapping a plastic band around my wrist or pinching but it doesnt help as much at times. Though im trying to think of it like i'm breaking a habit/quitting smoking and that its just going to take time. i also clench my jaw constantly, my mouth constantly aches and my teeth are damaged but its so hard to not do that because alot of the time im not even aware of it for a while anyway. 

working with my psychologist is definitely something i need to keep working on these things, is there anyone helping you with stuff?

lj

[Miss_S]

Thank you for messaging me. I really appreciate it 🙂 im sorry you have problems with this aswell. Its not nice to have to deal with. Im going to talk to my psychiatrist about it when i see him again soon. I haven't told him. Thank you for the different methods to try help me. Have a nice day thank you again