Lived Experience Forum

[Trapped]

Hi I'm a newbie and have suffered from anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia and depression on and off for what seems like forever.  I am not living, I live in fear most times to the point where I refuse all social engagements, have no friends, experience crippling anxiety to the point where I cannot leave the house. I also feel so alone, I'd like to talk with others who may expeience any of these situations.  I've been out and about lately but rarely by myself and find shopping centres and crowds excruciating.  I am living with my parent's and would like to become independent.  I feel all those problems stem from my high school days and bullying.  It continued when I began working and hence, I am the bi-product of life.  I haven't worked for a long time and feel like life has passed me by, someone please help.

[angel_wings]

I hear you as I too find it extremely hard to leave my house. I have to have someone with me n bcos I have isolated so much over the past years I only have my children. One is grown up with a family of their own, the other is still at high school n struggles with her own severe anxieties which makes life very hard. I too feel like I'm not living just going through the motions and watching my life pass by. I get so upset when I hear of everyone put there that are actually living and enjoying life. I wish so much I could too, instead of wishing mine away. Not sure how I can help but pls at least know you are not alone in feeling this. Try to do teeny things each day if you can manage it. I understand some days that is impossible. Coming here on this forum is a step forward. I am also new here and feel a little less 'abnormal' since joining. I'm sad so many people out there are suffering and mostly in silence. Sending live and light to you on your journey to wellness xx

[angel_wings]

*love and light

[Appleblossom]

You are probably doing the right things @Trapped ... working from a secure place ... which is different from being locked in ... and trying to deal with past bullying and getting out when you can.  The only thing I can add is that sometimes it SEEMS as if everyone is out there having good lives .. but mostly people struggle and grab the moments that are good for them ... we just dont see the pain as much ... the ones who were out partying last night are probably not the same group that are doing it tonight ... We all carry possibilities of good and bad times iin us ...

Then we develop awareness of our own patterns in keeping some negative interactions going ... I still dont know what I did to attract predatory types of people ... but I am learning to stand fully engaged with my strength and my vulnerability. 

Everyone has an achilles heel. its not so much being an enemy and wanting to wound another .. but just hold an awareness that we are all very human ...

[suzanne]

Hi @Trapped, welcome to the Forums.  I'm so glad you found us as one of the benefits of these Forums is that they can provide a community, a chance to connect with others, without you needing to leave the safety of your home.  There are many members here with similar experiences and some who have built on their relationships and experiences within the Forums to gradually extend their sense of safety outside of the home.

Have you had a chance to wander around the Forums yet?  There are threads you can simply drop into for a chat, like the Night Shift and Beer Garden.  Everyone is very welcoming so feel free to drop into a thread and say hello.  We also have Friday feast where we come together to share a virtual meal on Friday evening.  You'd be very welcome to join in. 

It's really common for people to have lost confidence in your situation Trapped.  If you stick around here I hope that you'll start to feel better about yourself.  Certainly you'll realise that you're not alone.

[MoonGal]

Hey @Trapped, welcome to the forums. Life doesn;tpass us by so much I don;t think as we hide from it, and that is to protect ourselves. I have been out and about before and in more of an in and squirrely phase. I hope you find us mob welcoming and a place to open up and out a bit. All the best. a

[LadyLover62]

Hi Trapped,
Have you considered hypnotherapy? It's worth a thought. I know some ppl who had great success
All the best

[Appleblossom]

Sometimes i huddle in and try and make my area .. more safe and comforting

Other times I try like mad to get out.

Hope reading & posting on the forum is helping.