Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

hi everyone, i have read so many posts about wanting to be normal or trying to be normal so i pose you with this question define what is "normal" to you because truly "normal" is not one specific thing so everybody says they want to be normal but what is it. 

to me to be normal is to be yourself accept yourself for who you are because if you cant accept yourself how are others ment to accept you sure everybody has issues even ppl who have a "perfect" life have issues but everybody views their issues differently even if they are exactly the same as someone else. just because you have a mental health issue doesnt make you abnormal. in my opinion everybody has some form of Mental health issue just some handle it and others need help. i know i need help to cope with my mental health issues i mean why else would any of us be here other then to seek help, advice and support i also know that just because i have mental health issues that i need help with doesnt make me abnormal because i am normal to me sure i have things that i dont like about myself and wish i didnt have my mental health issues but i also know that i probably wouldnt be where i am today or have my little boy if i didnt get that help and i still recieve help. if being normal means changing myself to fit in with others ideal world im glad to be abnormal but to me the way i am is normal and my normal is always changing but as long as im comfortable with my normal why should matter what others say. 

so what is YOUR "normal" 

[Former-Member]

Normal is +60%

[TAB]

..why change if you are comfortable? @Former-Member just a thought ..nine words. Lol 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, I think mine would be to live a functional life where I can give as much as I take from everyone. At the moment that is too scewed. Cheers💜😊

[Sahara]

Great question! 

My 'normal' is when I get up out of bed and go through my day and time just flies. Things don't seem particularly stressful and I easily have enough energy to do everything.

The phone rings and I let the answering machine take a message and I don't even feel guilty.  I go for a walk in the forest without even checking my hair or co-ordinating my outfit. I don't worry what I look like. I eat chocolate cake for breakfast and don't give it a second thought. It doesn't matter.

I get lots of creative ideas about stuff. I make some drawings. The drawings lead to more creative ideas.

If I run into someone I know, I don't stress about saying the right thing. I just smile and say 'hi' and let them do all the talking, if they want to.  I don't give them a second thought when we say 'bye'.  I don't wonder what they think of me. I'm too busy with my own stuff to do.

I don't worry about leaving dishes unwashed. I'd much rather sit down and watch T.V. for a while. I watch a good documentary but I don't start worrying about the world- poverty, exploitation, crime....I just think "Oh, well, I'm lucky... I'm safe and comfortable. I'm blessed to live in a great country." 

I pick flowers from the garden, I bake a pretty cake, I listen to relaxing music and when 5pm comes around, I pour a glass of white wine and enjoy every mouthful!  

To me... 'normal' is to be free of worry. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does; it's bliss. 

[Princessmolly]

To me i think normal is having meaningful relationships with friends abd family. To be a integral part of a community. To wake up and not instantly feel the black cloud hanging over your head. To have the energy and inclination to take care of your house and appearance. To not punish or abuse your body with food and alcohol or other risky behaviours. To not have a negative commentary about yourself runnung through your head constantly about your lack of friends, job success, your failures as a parent and person, your looks etc. To have people actually seek your company because you are fun to be around. To have a job you dont hate and are good at. If you are a parent to not be perfect but be calm and respectful and fun. To have kids that are happy and well balanced.
I am none of this.

[Princessmolly]

And to not want to end your life as a way to escape your misery

[Alone]

I don't ever want to be "normal"!!   I enjoy being me, even if its not everyone elses idea of perfect.  I've accepted my illness and embrace it.  Sure its a pain in the ... sometimes, but its me.

As you've mentioned everyone has issues, it's just that some of us go to a doctor and get a diagnosis for our "differences" and some don't.  Who's really mentally ill?  The ones with a diagnosis or the ones who havent looked that deep?

[Former-Member]

hi @TAB im comfortable with who i am as a person i just dont like my mind set and everybody has something they want to change about themselves but just because you have things you want to change doesnt mean you cant be comfortable with who you are

hi @Former-Member i recently just went through a stage of not wanting to take anymore cause i thought i was taking too much but my sister who was the one giving me the most told me to look back at my life and how much i gave even when i didnt think i was able to so it doesnt make me as guilty anymore but i can understand the feeling like you take too much and dont give enough back

hi @Sahara you seem to a very clear veiw of what your normal is and im glad that you have been able to feel this for you but dont get down over not being able to be there all the time i have my noraml days and then i have my special normal days where like you said everything is bliss maybe you just have 2 different normals.

hi @Princessmolly understand the feeling of being at rock bottom and feeling like its impossible to get back up so why not just end i was alot younger and in very different circumstances but i promise you that no matter how far down you are and how stuck you feel there is away to get back up it just takes patience and getting the right help and accepting you need it believe ive been to rock bottom and i felt like i would be stuck there and it would never get better but it slowly did it took a long time though it been 14 years since i was there and i come along way but i know i still have longer still before i get back to the top and that one day i will reach it i just gotta keep putting one foot infront of the other and you will find once you start moving it gets easier to keep going

hi @Alone i completly get what your saying i know i have an illness and i accept that its there and i need help to learn to deal with it but to cope but i know it there and it is part of me

[TAB]

@Princessmolly I can so relate to that.. guess it's about taking little 'wins', it can get boring when end back up in same spot sometimes tho ..