Lived Experience Forum

[getbetter]

Has anyone else had an open discussion about suicide with they're family, carer's, friends etc?

[Former-Member]

The only person I've ever discussed it with was my counsellor. She agreed at the time to be my kids guardian and look after their best interests if I died. I had just asked her to make sure my wishes were conveyed as to where they would live. I don't have to worry about that anymore as they are and nearly all adults now. I couldn't have that conversation with anyone else.

[Zoe7]

I have had a very open discussion with my GP and here on the forum (but sticking within the community guidelines at the same time) @getbetter

I have not had the same discussion with my psychologist or psychiatrist - mostly answering their questions around the subject about where I 'am' at any particular time in regards to SI.

I found that trust is the primary consideration when discussing this - without judgement- and that it is when I am more unlikely to actually carry out any 'plans' that I am able to discuss it more openly and with more objectivity.

My GP has assured me that if I am in that 'space' that she won't 'insist' on hospital but she will be 'pon my doorstep' if I do feel that way again. This has actually strengthened my trust in her and allowed me to be extremely forthcoming when I feel I am heading down that road.

I don't talk much to my family and have no real friends around me to confide in so that is definitely not an area I can comment on.

[STORMGRL101]

This is something I would like to discuss with someone but because it will be potentially distressing for me I don't know who to talk to. I don't feel like I can talk to (new) psychologist about it nor my psychiatrist. Possibly would be able to talk to (old) psychologist about it but I can't see her. I feel most comfortable talking with my support worker but she would probably encourage me to talk to NP about it. Hmm tricky 😕

[Phoenix_Rising]

Back when I actually had friends and family, I was always ok talking about suicide. I used to engage in some very extreme forms of para-suicide and my one "real" attempt was also very extreme so it wasn't exactly something that could be kept secret. I was definitely labelled as "just attention seeking." I don't have any experience of friends and family showing any concern. For example, once when I was in crisis, my mum told me that if she got a call to say I was dead, she wouldn't bother claiming my body.

These days I don't have any friends or family. I don't have any issues talking about suicidal ideation with my psychologist or my GP. When I started with this psychologist in January, we had a problem in this area because she would go on about me going to hospital to "help keep you safe." Given that most of my issues are now due to bad stuff that has happened within the mental health system, this did not work well. We have now moved through this problem. We agree that it is totally fine for me to talk about intense urges to suicide and if she thinks I am at risk of acting on those urges, she may ask me if I intend to suicide. However, we both know that I will be saying I have no intention, regardless of whether I do or not. We both know that she has to ask simply to cover herself legally.

I guess that because I've struggled with suicidal ideation for my entire adult life, it is just a part of life to me. I recognise that because of this, I probably don't have a sense of the impact that a disclosure can have on other people. I recognise that I don't understand why the topic of suicide seems so taboo in our society.

[girl99]

Hi, I would love to have this discussion but unfortunately because of our laws we are unable to.  I told my doctor I was feeling quite unwell and she said that if I kept talking this way that she has a duty of care to report me etc etc.  I shut up pretty fast after that.  So, in reality, all these 'mental health professionals' really don't want you to talk about it (or they will report you and you will regret having ever said anything) and that is why the system doesn't work.
For that reason, I would advise people to be very careful who they talk to about this. Maybe only a good trusted friend who you know will never report you to anyone.
We SHOULD be able to have this discussion with anyone but the problem is that even the most 'well intentioned' people may report you and then you could end up in a public health unit being involuntarily restrained.  From what I hear, no one comes out any better.

I will also state that I wrote a lot more on this topic,  but I was told to 'moderate' it or it would not be published.  It is my view that doctors and some others aim for  'recovery' (being their view of 'recovery' = medicating people and hospitalisation) when there is no actual evidence that this 'method' is actually helping many people recover. If so, I'd like to see the statistics - how many people have 'recovered' from 'mental illness using medication and hospitalisation?   My guess is very few.  It's time for government to be more open minded when discussing and looking at mental 'health'.  If they don't like your views they will just 'sanction' you.  It's really just all about control.   Keep the crowd quiet.

I think mental health 'professionals' should be more open minded. That's all I better say on this.

[Kurra]

I have recovered @girl99 with multiple lengthy hospitalisations and medications plus 26 years post diagnosis.