Lived Experience Forum

[Down2]

Feeling sad and had some anger earlier. My stepfather stayed in my home for awhile. I could feel caught him eyeing me off and his mannerisms are foul. I’ve had sexual abuse as a child but by different men. He has gone home thank god.

He has a hold of ‘my’ extended family property and married my passed (extremely mentally ill with cancer) mother in the late stages of life for control. (They were together for a very long time however and did love each other). At times she’d call him a pig. He has helped me out in some ways dont get me wrong; but I was even wearing vests and a dressing gown to not feel like he was looking at me inappropriately. 😡

Gross. Many other things about him are real weird and creepy.

My girlfriend who lives a long way away said stay away from that horrible creepy man.

However I have myself and my children to consider financially for the future; so I’m not going to do that.

It’s horrible. As if Im not going through/have been through enough.

I don't expect answers but listening ears; validation empathy are appreciated 😔😡:nauseated_face:

The @ ‘s aren't working for me atm

[Jynx]

@Down2 am very sorry to hear that you have to endure this man's presence in your life, it sounds like he makes you very uncomfortable and reminds you of some past experiences you'd really rather not revisit. 

I can hear you really care about your family and want to do what is best for them, so maybe you're feeling a bit trapped in this situation, which is very rough. I hope you're able to get some time and distance from him so you can focus on yourself and your family 🤞

[Down2]

Thank you @Jynx 

[Down2]

Hi,

I’m still feeling traumatised. I’m going through emotions of sadness, anger and anxiety.

This man is disgusting to do this to me. He knows some of the abuse I’ve endured in the past plus as a child. It’s just triggered awful feelings again. What a pig. My mother used to say that sometimes. 

I’m in my 50’s but it would be sooo nice to have supportive figures in my life. I’m not feeling any. My psychologist said I never had a feeling of safety.

Usually when I’d text I’d write love at the end. I don’t want to atm. He may suspect somethings up. I’m trying to get into see my psychologist earlier but looks like it will be next Wednesday. I tried to call lifeline again but my 21 yr son came home. I told him last week but I don’t know whether to express anymore of what I’m going through to him. He’s had issues himself in the past. I’d like to think ptsd anxiety will not pass through the generations.

I’m going to yoga meditation this evening.

Please write me.

@Jynx

[fluffylight]

Hi @Down2 

I'm new around here. 🙂

I want to acknowledge your ability to reach out for support through this forum, your psychologist, your son, lifeline and yoga!! From what I can see you have the tools and ability to reach out for support to face these emotions like sadness, anger and anxiety. 

Your experiences and struggle can be heard and seen here! We see you, hear you and will provide support for you.

This forum and community is here to support you. 

SANE also offers support through:

Counsellors- Counselling service supports people affected by complex mental health issues, complex trauma and high levels of psychological distress.

Peer Support Workers- Peer Support Workers have lived experience with mental health and other life challenges and can share their experiences of their recovery journey to provide support and promote values of hope, inclusion, connection, respect, empathy and autonomy. 

You are more than welcome to reach out to our Support Centre on 1800 18 72 63, Mon - Fri,

10 am – 10 pm AEST. You also have the option to reach out via our texted base chat service. All of our services are free.

Sending lots of light x

From,

Fluffy light 

[Down2]

Thank you @fluffylight.

Thank you for acknowleding my endevours to feel better. I just want to stay well and feel safe. Some joy would be nice.

He just texted me. Blahhhh yuk, disgusting man he is.

i just want to get him out of my head for awhile.

I was and am attempting to being myself to the present moment. Driving to yoga I was thinking whats 4 things I can see red, then a few other colours.

Yoga was very easy and a gentle class.

I really appreciate the support and knowing you are there.

xo

[Jynx]

Hi @Down2 it is such a tough situation for you to be in, and I think it is normal to feel very unsafe with this person - I'm so glad you're reaching out for support whilst navigating this. It is really hard when your family/friends don't seem supportive, but having that professional support along the way is really reassuring. You deserve to feel safe, to feel heard and be able to talk freely about how this situation is affecting you. 

I would highly recommend giving 1800RESPECT a call, they're really helpful and specialise in these sorts of situations. Oh, and also have a look into the Blue Knot Foundation, they specialise in supporting folks who have been through childhood trauma. 

Hope the yoga meditation was soothing for your soul 💜