Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

I feel like I am surrounded by things I cannot see but can hear clearly.

Asher is screaming obscenities and telling me to do some terrible stuff, really horrible thigs.

I am sitting here wringing my hands. I have music blasting my eardrums to drown him out. Drown them all out. Soapbox hour has passed and they remain. I'm stressed!

What do I do?

I am not meant to see any doctors now for a while. I don't want to own up to hearing voices again because I don't want to end up in the hospital. I'm so stressed!

[utopia]

@Queenie. That's good you've got the music blasting. That can help. What else do you do when your voices get so loud? What have you done in the past?
Maybe if you call your local Mental health team - they may know what works to quiet your voices. Worth a try.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Queenie - great that you've got the music on! have you got any night meds that you can allowed to take to help you sleep and would also help knock out some of the voices for a while. I know when i was prescribed a diff class of meds i was told to take them as necessary...
Hugs - reach out for help or let your wife know if things arent safe for you, take care of you!

[Queenie]

Hi @Former-Member and @utopia. My ears are sore from listening to loud music. I barely slept at all last night. I'm exhausted and my psychiatrist isn't working today. There isn't much anyone can do, the public mental health team don't know me at all from a bar of soap, as I'm a private patient. My doctor is unreachable as Tuesday's is his day at the big veteran's hospital and his office is closed. I've run out of PRN meds due to the long weekend. Today will be the first day I can get some but because they make me tired, I am not allowed them until bedtime tonight. My wife says I am distant and cold towards her, I don't mean to be. I get like this I think when voices take over. I havent hardly slept in days when doesn't help. 

[utopia]

@Queenie. I know if I don't sleep enough my MI comes and plays havoc with me. Maybe an early night sleep for you tonight.
Your wife needs to understand thst when these voices get so loud - you can't be communicating with her as normal. It takes all your energy and attention and focus to deal with all the noise.
But you made it through the night. Well done.

[Queenie]

Thank you @utopia. I managed to get in touch with my GP, who has my psychiatrist's mobile phone number. She has called him and is awaiting his response. She has suggested taking my PRN at about 4:30pm (my time) and settling in for the night. I like that idea.

I sat down and had a talk with my wife, I told her on our traffic light system, I am currently at red. She is doing all she can to help me, which is a very good thing. I told her I appreciate her help and love her very much. I think to be honest she needed to hear that. You see, she has BPD and sometimes needs assurance that everything is ok between us (which it is). She has suggested I could go for respite if needed (even if it is just a few days). I told her we'll see how I am tomorrow after hopefully a good rest tonight. 

[utopia]

@Queenie. I'm glad you and your wife had a good talk. Yes she needs to know what's going on. So good you could contact the psychiatrist.
Has he responded yet?

[Queenie]

Not yet. Sometimes he doesn't answer his messages until the end of his shift at the hospital, which is about 6pm (but be rest assured, my GP has said if she doesn't hear from him in an hour, she will leave another message). 

I think this hiccup has been caused by a number of cumulative factors. Running out of PRN medication, not enough sleep, the stress of the accident. Hopefully, with any luck, now I have PRN again and taking them 4:30pm, I will settle down and rest and de-stress. My voices will settle down. I don't think I am bad enough to go into hospital or anything, despite what my voices are saying and commanding me. I am still in the driver's seat @utopia.

[utopia]

Great to hear you are still in the drivers seat @Queenie. That takes a lot of strength. You are stronger than these voices.
Yes the prn's should help you. Bet you've taken them by now & that should quieten the voices and let you get a good nights sleep. Win/Win.

[Queenie]

Just popped back in to let you know my psychiatrist got onto me. He agreed with my GP to take my PRN early (which I have). He thinks all the culminating factors has led to this. He also offered hospital for a short stay if I needed it (which I don't think I do, but nice to know it's there).