Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Meliib87]

My husband has has schitzophrenia since before I met him. And for the past 10 years he has done well. We married and had a child who is now 3. He was doing great. So when his Dr suggested changing medication from one which made him very zombie like we agreed we were at a good place and made the switch to ankther. But nothing has gone okay since.<br>he is more alert, and doesn't sleep all day, and helps out around the house now. <br>But he's also short tempered, often starting arguments over little things that shouldn't matter. is this the true him that I've never known because all I've known is zombie him? Or is the medication clashing!?<br>He says he would rather die then go back on the first medication now that he knows what not being so tired feels like. <br>He's started meditation which I think is great. But sometimes he gets very obsessive about it, needing to do it a certain way and time and duration and anything that interfears with that should avoid him. <br>He also has started to carry with him healing stones from an alternative medicine type store. But tonight he told me that he thinks a lady from our sons swimming lesson had a stone to draw his attention. And someone was following us home because of these stones. <br>I suggested that he is sounding a little paranoid and to maybe mention it to the Dr and he got annoyed at me.<br>So I guess my question is... What can i do to help?

[Appleblossom]

It is a truly huge task to help a spouse and father of your child in managing his MI.

I only had partial success in my relationship, but  I would say you have probably done the right thing, by being truthful to your understanding of the situation, rather than only being "positive".

Look after yourself and your child and gradually establish boundaries if he is too irritable.  

Often meditation places advocate same place same time each day .. or 2 x 20 mins .. per day etc .. it may help.

Mostly I tried to give positive attention to good things, and did not always comment when paranoia was rising .. though a lot depends on how much .. and what other supports you and your child have.

Take care and walk gently .. it is a big journey.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Meliib87,

Welcome to the forum. 

With mental illness, it's hard to know who is the 'real person' and what behaviours are down to being unwell. Side effects of medication complicate this. But it may help to separate the 'behaviours' from the person. I'm not experienced about treatment of schizophrenia (I am treated for bipolar), but it sounds from your husband's current behaviours, as though the current treatment is not effectively enough dealing with his symptoms. At the moment it also sounds like it's an either/or where your husband is zombie-like in one state and irritable and paranoid in another. There may be more medication options than this. Is it something that could be discussed with your husband's psychiatrist? 

Also just to let you know that you may find that you get some more replies, if you post in the Carers Forum as well as here.

Kindest wishes.

[Lunar]

Hi there @Meliib87,

A very warm welcome from myself to the forums, that sounds like a really tough situation in one way your partner was a zombie but now he is irritable, such a catch 22, you must be quite concerned but also exhausted in dealing with this.

The one thing that came to mind for me along with him reviewing his medication, was whether he was able to get support for the worry that comes with thinking people are following him home and this pressure on the stones and being obsessive over the medication. Sounds like a control issue and it might be helpful for you to ask how that is making him feel and support him that way?

So I guess allowing him to talk through the feelings behind the paranoid thinking, you could try something like that? And if he does enjoy talking about his feelings in that way then you can suggest that perhaps he could get more support for that through his psychiatrist or a psychologist  or through yourself if that works for you both, etc

Lunar