Lived Experience Forum

[Bat_Girl]

This is all I can manage at the moment.

I feel tired and sick and ugly and dirty and completely overwhelmed with life.

Logging in and sharing here is my achievement for today.

If I can get through the next couple of hours without flipping out and/or SH I will have done well.

I'll try to come back later with a more positive report.

I used to think it was enough just to survive each day but apparently not.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bat_Girl

Reaching out here is a big achievement and I know many here will jump on board to help support you. I do also relate to feeling overwhelmed with life - it can throw enormous curve balls at times. For me it's then just living moment to moment, trying not to allow myself to think any further into the future than that as then worry overwhelms; trying not to dwell on hurts etc as then I am in danger of going into distress (flipping out). I just try and be in the peace of the moment. One second at a time. Not listening to my thoughts. Just to be. Or Maybe listen to music, reading or watch TV, goi g for a walk etc -  anything to try and not "to think too much or dwell on how I am feeling". Tomorrow can take care of itself. 

Thats the best I can do when I feel as you are. Is there anyone you can talk to about how you are feeling if it just gets too much?. Please don't hesitate to ring lifeline or similar if you feel the latter. Please talk here too about anything you need to if that helps. Others will also respond. Sending you a warm hug. I know how tough it can get,

[Sans911]

@Bat_Girl I hear your struggles and yes, sharing here is an achievement. It's never easy to lay out our vulnerabilities to the world. I've have struggled with sharing my experiences too, but gradually the more I shared the less I felt different or alone. I hear all those things that make you feel overwhelmed. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself from self harm? Do you draw, paint, do crosswords or watch a movie that might help? Have you ever rung a support service or chatted to someone online to just get through this difficult moment? And if you need help immediately you can tag a moderator like this - @Former-Member can you please check on @Bat_Girl to see if she's OK? They won't call you. They will send an email to you ok, just to check on you. You have my support and concern. You posted on here for a reason. You are not alone

[Bat_Girl]

Hi All and thanks for your responses and concern @Former-Member, @Sans911 and @Former-Member.

I lost myself in a novel after posting yesterday and once I finished the book, managed to sleep for a few hours without night terrors which is good. 

I am feeling better today as evidenced by my being out of bed and on-line. 

I have set myself a couple of goals including going outside and tending to the animals, showering and washing my hair and trimming my nails. If I can achieve this I'll be satisfied.

On the 'not' side I am aiming not to scratch, pick or pull at my skin and hair.  I also have a nasty rash on my chest and a few spots on my upper arms that I need to leave alone. I suffer from excoriation disorder which is triggered by anxiety. Teeth grinding, jaw clenching and chewing the inside of my mouth (that I am doing as I type) are also on my 'not' to do list.

I am going interstate on Wednesday. My sister in law has organised a surprise party for my brother's 60th birthday and my week long visit is also to be a surprise. My current crisis is largely a result of this - the requirement that I participate in life and interact with the outside world like a normal person.

I know that I will be able to pack and travel and also that I will enjoy the time with my brother and his family once I am there BUT I am stressing so much about it that I am almost paralysed. It is typical of me to prepare and arrive just in time. I just have to trust that I will manage on this occasion too.  At the moment I can't imagine it but hey... one day at a time.

[Appleblossom]

It is so important doing those little things.

I hope you are travelling well @Bat_Girl and have a good break with family.

Cheers Apple