@bipolarbunny
Hi bipolarbunny
Understanding Vent
I can certainly understand that feeling of staying immobilised in the same unpleasant space. It is particularly frustrating when family is initiating and/or maintaining a position that contributes to our feeling of frustration and distress.
Your comments
“they acknowledge my existence (is) when they need something.” and
“being made to feel like I'm less than nothing or that my feelings and my time aren't important.”
ring a bell for me.
Unfortunately, I also feel that maintaining as much distance, physically and psychologically, between those others and me is the best possible course of action.
Then the anxiety arises about what else could happen and how soon. It's strange to know that some of the people we associate with, and even strangers on this forum, can understand our concerns and life issues better than our immediate family.
Admittedly, on the forum, our concerns are somewhat distilled so that people can address a single issue that we may state. But we can certainly be disappointed when people, who should know us better, cannot understand and empathise with our positions and concerns.
To paraphrase the expression:
“Only in one's home town and in their own house is a prophet without (honour) respect”
It is an age-old problem.
This, I think, is the reason that we often receive more recognition from people around us than our own family. Our family often take us for granted; they know us so well that they can't acknowledge or they simply choose to overlook our inner concerns and position, or they are so bound up in their own lives that they cannot meaningfully extend themselves to understanding those whom we would think to be closest to them.
In my case, it is a brother who has on a number of occasions sought my assistance directly and financially, who at other times acts in an abrasive, aggressive and arrogant manner.
Should we say that, if others knew us better, they would treat us the same way? Yet, even in my imagination, hypothetically speaking, I still cannot believe that others would not look at us and our situation with more objectivity, understanding, empathy and the wish and desire to assist us, if and where they possibly could.
In many ways on this forum, we can discuss and separate issues into hopefully meaningful patterns. And sometimes, even if it is little consolation, we can intellectually identify with others' experiences of similar behaviours to those that we experience ourselves.
We can really wish each other special times of peace and tranquillity that we may also enjoy from time to time, and the support that comes from acknowledging obstacles that, when we describe them, others can share the experience of facing and hopefully helping each other, as far as we can, to overcome.
With Best Wishes
HenryX
