Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hey everyone,

I'm new to this forum so I don't really know what to expect but I figure I'll make a post and see what happens. (:

I recently moved from my parent's house, where I was being cared for by my stay-at-home dad, to a new state with my partner. I've stuggled a lot over the last 6 years with my mental health (hence why I was being cared for) and now I've found myself far away from family and with only my partner. The change hasn't been easy, and still isn't.

My depression is trying to drag me down, and there are things I'm expected to do that I've never had to do before and that stresses me out. My partner is relatively understanding, but they have issues of their own and they can't support me much. I don't have a psych or even a regular doctor here yet and honestly I probably can't afford a psych anyway. I can feel myself slipping.

I've fallen to depression before, and I'm so scared it's going to happen again. It seems to get worse every time and each time I'm surprised to find myself still breathing. It's a dark place and I'm frightened.

I think that's all I have to say at the moment. Thank you for giving me a space to share. 

[Mojo]

Hi and thank you for joining the forum. I am sure you will find lots of support out there.

Moving anywhere and starting afresh can be very stressfull time in a persons life. You have not only moved interstate, you have moved away from your support network. I see what you have done is a sign of strength, bravery and courage. Try not to be so tough on yourself  and look at what you have and are achieving. There will be challenges that you will have to overcome. If you can  break these challenges down and chip away at them little by little they want seem as daunting.

It is important that you find yourself a regular doctor. One option to find a GP is to ask around,maybe at your local chemist and see if someone can recommend one to you.Just a suggestion.

Once you have found a GP they will be able talk to you about what option are available in the area to support you.

Don't forget that your can call your Dad for a chat if that is an option.

Thanks again for using the forum.

Keep posting and take care, Mojo.

[Former-Member]

Thank you for your response, Mojo.

I do try to remind myself of how far I've come. It can be hard to when what I see as amazing for myself is seen as barely passable and ordinary to others. My partner tries to be supportive, but it's clear they don't fully understand what I'm going through.

I will get myself a doctor's appointment soon. It's hard having so little motivation, but it needs to be done. 

I could talk to my Dad, but the truth is that I won't. Even when he was my carer I didn't talk to him about these things much. I find it very difficult and uncomfortable. He's under the impression at the moment that everything is going excellently and I'm better than I've ever been before and I don't want to worry him.

Thank you again for your advice and welcome, it is very much appreciated. 

[Keith1292]

Hi Grave.

Welcome to the forum. Talking to people and trying to be motivated can be pretty difficult at times.

Don't heitate to chat to people on the forum - sometimes just putting your thoughts down in writing can help lift you up a bit. We all understand how difficult it can be.

Cheers - Keith

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Former-Member ,

You've got so much going on right now: the move, taking on more things, and moving away from support is a lot of change at once.

I think for many people it would find it quite unsettling. Add depression on top of all it and it can seem overwhelming. I'm really glad that you've reached out here. You sound very insightful being able to pick up on symptoms and knowing what needs to be done to stay well. Can I ask what have you done in the past to get through rough times?

You might find this discussion helpful, it was started by @Crazy_Bug_Lady and it's about what members use to cope to get through tough times. Other members @SCORPION @Jon22 @Alessandra1992 @Rosie @Former-Member also contributed to it. Perhaps they can also offer some words of advice or support here? Please feel free to contribute to that discussion too.

Hope you're having a good weekend wherever you are in Australia.

P.S. I love your profile pic. Can I ask your reasons for choosing it?

Hope to see more of you on here

CB

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi Grave.
I know how hard it can be to get the motivation up to do stuff. Would your partner possibly be able to book you an appointment with a GP if you're struggling to do it? I wasn't able to get up the courage to see a GP, until one of my friends picked me up and dropped me of at a GP. While I was fairly peeved at the time, I know I wouldn't have gotten treatment without that...
Also, not entirely sure how it works, but my GP wrote me up a Mental Health Plan, and gave me a referral to see a Psychologist. The plan covers 10 appointments, so that's cool. He also sent me for a psychiatric assessment earlier this year which was also covered, I had to pay a $80 gap though.

Also, don't forget to do something that you enjoy (or normally enjoy) if you can. For me, that can be sitting in the park reading a book. Just trying to get out of the house.

Hope things get better.
Things will get better.
-CBL 😊

[Former-Member]

Hi @Keith1292

Thank you for your support and welcome. I really appreciate it.

[Former-Member]

@CherryBomb

Thanks for your understanding. It feels good to have my feelings validated as you have done.

In the past, I've mostly used distraction techniques. They seem to be the only thing that really works, and that's only by making me forget myself for a while. Usually watching a TV show is the best thing. It's just that I always feel so lazy doing so, and I feel that others see me as being lazy too.

I will definitely check that link out, thank you.

I chose the profile pic for a few reasons. Foxes are my second favourite animals (if I had to pick favourites) with wolves being the first. I feel a connection to both of the species. Plus, my partner is also very fond of foxes. If you believe in things like totem animals or spirit animals, that would be hers.

Again, thank you.

[Former-Member]

@Crazy_Bug_Lady

I think my partner would be willing to book an appointment for me. I will ask her.
They were a good friend for doing that for you, especially since they had to face your (understandable) annoyance for it.
Oh okay. That's good to know. I will have to ask about that when I go to a GP. That would be really helpful.
Thanks for all your support and kindness. 🙂

[kristin]

Dear @Former-Member 

A tardy but very warm welcome to the forum! Well done for such a courageously open and honest post. 

I'm reading what you've had going on for you and it resonates with some of my own experience when Ieft home. So I might share a bit of that. I'd ike you to get a sense for how big this move has been, and why it might be very understandable that you are stuggling emotionally (which is my perspective on it).

When I was 18 I left my mum's house and moved in with my boyfriend, literally around the corner. I had suffered from severe depression and suicidality at 16. I didn't understand why. After moving I became severely depressed again, and it wasn't until then that I got help (going to student counselling at uni). I also ended up suffering from severe sciatica (excruciating back pain). It has taken me a very long time to get perspective on my mental health struggles, because I didn't know what had happened to me. (You may find this article helpful - if only to give you an idea of what a compassionate gp approach might look like).

You don't mention whether you are aware of what the underlying cause of your depression is (or might be). You may not know. I want to tell you that there is a reason, this is not something we do to ourselves, or that we end up in because it's fun, or an excuse to be "lazy". It's ok if you don't know. Let's just sit with there is a reason.

Then add stress - actually a lot of stress to anyone - even if they have never had any mental health dificculties:

1. move out of parental home

2. move in with partner

3. move interstate

These are not just one stress but several very big changes in themselves. Stress can be a big driver for depression in my experience. I am not telling you this to suggest that you've done the wrong thing or criticising your choices here BTW, I am drawing your attention to this because I want you to please try and be very kind and gentle with yourself. Self-compassion is a gift to all - not only ourselves.

I hope you find some helpful help soon. Some communities have a community mental health centre which offer free counselling, this might be worth asking about too.

Hope for a meaningful life without depression endures...

Kindest regards, 

Kristin