@hellen
Hello hellen,
Yes, I sure can identify with that feeling of wanting the world to stop.
You've mentioned that you are feeling really low. So I understand you've probably been feeling that way for a while. Also, you talk about your doctor recommending that you continue to work.
I can certainly say, from my own experience, that continuing activities, whether they be work, social and/or community involvement, has kept me 'afloat' at times. Sometimes, when I have really not wanted to get myself ready to walk out the door, I have done so and when I have returned, have felt significantly better than I was before I went out.
At times, when I was working in an office in the city, I would look out the window of the bus, in which I was travelling to work, and think
“It is a beautiful day, I'm with other people and I'm otherwise healthy, why is it that I feel so down?”
I used the word “down” because at that time I was not familiar with the use or even application of the word “depression”. I would endeavour to boost my feelings by looking for a person on the footpath who I thought would return my smile if I smiled a “good morning” to them. It generally worked. I believe it was because I had extended myself outward, from myself to someone else and in doing so had initiated a positive response from them that gave me a lift and hopefully them also.
I believe, from the knowledge I have since acquired that I would have been diagnosed as having depression from some considerable time before that particular morning. However, that was my way of dealing with the situation at that time.
Feeling the way that you have described is a very uncomfortable experience. I know that because, as I've said, I've been there, as have many other people on this forum. We certainly can identify with that wish to isolate ourselves in a way that can seem very much like self-care.
From the description of recent events, it sounds to me that the person of whom you have spoken, while not very close was certainly familiar enough for you to experience a certain level of grief on his passing. The events may even have brought to mind a sense of vulnerability and possibly fragility. These are all very understandable feelings to have in the circumstances.
The feeling of being
“on a precipice and I might crack”
sounds to me like a normal stress response. I wonder if your doctor is aware of the recent events with your old neighbour? While your feelings have existed for some time, they may have been exacerbated by the death of your neighbour and the surrounding circumstances. It seems to me that your doctor may possibly be able to give you, if you would be prepared to accept it, some medication that would assist you in the short term, that you may find effective.
If you would like to talk some more, I would be pleased if you let me know on the forum. There are many other people on the forum who would also have had similar feelings and experiences to what you have had. They would, I am sure, be happy to respond to your discussion also.
With Best Wishes
HenryX
Your not alone as long as you have friends on here 
and please if you need to rest then rest ,take some time for self care,a warm shower,a phone call to talk things through with lifeline 13 11 14 or beyound blue or something that is a healthy distraction from all the stress your feeling,listen to what your body needs and do safe things to rest,eat regulary and if you need to catch up on sleep then rest,you dont have to answer your phone if you dont feel like it when people call or message you too often,I had that problem recently where over a few days people kept ringing and messaging so I ended up feeling exhausted from just having to talk over and over and react to peoples messages too much it got really annoying as at the time sleep depravation was a big issue at the same time as people constantly messaging ect,Please Take Care
